In the past month I’ve been described as a lot of things. Unsupportive, a drama queen, mysterious, quiet or to loud, brag about to much, to positive, to negative, house proud, ocd with my house, lucky. Much more. Bit do you know it all makes me laugh. Why? Because most will say a positive followed by a negative. The fact is I’m just me and no matter what others say I’ll still be me long after they leave my life. So be who you want despite others.
I wanted to share one of my ongoing projects with you all.
My veggie garden.
I’ve planted yellow zucchinis, red sliverbeet, purple beans, cherry and normal tomatoes, snow peas, lettuce, watermelon, beetroot, capsicum and not to forget tobacco. And much more.
I tried to grow from seeds last year and lost Patience’s. In short gave up.
I’m feeling so proud, not only that I started. But that I haven’t given up or killed my baby plants.
So excited to see all the fresh home grown produce I can cook for my children.
For a anti gardener I feel I’m doing really well
Do you ever want to just scream out as loud as you can getting hurt, frustration and pain out? I do. But not wanting to appear like I’ve lost the plot. I decided to deal with it in another way. I got the axe out. Noooo don’t run scared lol. Not to use on anyone lol I’m attacking my wood pile. And man what an amazing way to lose that anger. I have a great pile of wood to start the fire and am in the best mood.
Day 164 – my girl comes up to me. Mummy mummy can I have a surf board for Christmas? I asked her why. She so seriously says ‘to catch a wave of course mum!’ Lol to cute
Wow I’ve just realised why I’ve been feeling the way I have today. Its my mother “n” laws (well technically ex) birthday. Wanting more then anything to make contact, wish her a very happy birthday. Its not possible but doesn’t stop the longing to do so. I am struggling to understand how once her and I clashed. Then gaining love and respect for each other. She while can be misguided is a wonderful, warm, kind, caring and compassionate women. So I am sending well wishes to her on her special day xox
How do you deal with mood swings? Today I woke up feeling low and quite snappy. Whilst enjoying my morning coffee, I thought of ways to pull myself out of this funk. I cleaned my home. Stepping up the pace to try and use my tip skills (intense exercise). Music blaring I felt my mood lift just a little.
I had trademe work to do, sorting my trade cupboard, answering emails, packing trades etc felt good. However I felt myself going into a more hyper mood.
Next onto my competitions. This is something I love doing. Emails, puzzles and much more. Including sending my address so I can receive the family movie pass I’ve just won.
Still my mood was hyper. Feeling it in my chest. I know my heart rates up, kinda of fight and flight.
It wasn’t till I sat to write this post, that I started to balance out. So a warm thank you to my blogger friends. Clearly its a great way for me to unwind. To distract myself into calm. Thanks everyone
Day 163 – struggling for a positive today as I’m feeling abit low. But I still got out of bed, got dressed and left the house. Faking it to I make it :)
Thought Id give you all a quick update to my “blind date never again lol” post. I was chatting to my mum about it turns out she thinks knows the guy. And wow really did dodge a bullet. Turns out he’s at least 60 years old. So I know know why he refused to tell me his age. Now I personally don’t have an issue with age gaps. But 30 years way to much for me.
As for the “friend” well her and I are no longer in contact. Aside from the “blind date dramas”. She accused me off a number of things including being selfish, bragging about my life to much, that she felt used and that it was a one sided friendship etc. I reacted badly at first. But once I calmed down I tried to make contact, was ignored for a few days. When she finally replied she said I’d over reacted and accused me of much more. It was hurtful and eye opening. I tried to use dbt skills and discuss it all. But I hit a brick wall. I decided to leave it be and haven’t heard from her since.
I am partly relieved yet disappointed. It felt childish and nasty. Boredering on high school dramas. I do miss her though. We were best friends for over a year. Went through intense therapy (dbt) together. And I believed we had the makings of a life long friendship.
Bit onwards and upwards. Its a lesson learnt.
Reminds me of the old saying.
I’ve got a sudden desire to get more ink. I currently have 5 tattoos. And there’s three more I’m planning on getting on time. Do you have tattoos? Want one? Not like them? How many do you have