To many hobbies?

This morning I’ve realised I may just have to many hobbies. And I seem to run out of time for them all. But can’t pick which I want more.

-photography (my biggest passion I hope to turn into a career)

-my blog



-wood carving

– 2x Facebook business pages



-online comping (win lots)

-online surveys (free vouchers)


– exercise

-candle making

-cake decorating and chocolate making

And of course my sailor n kids


How can one be sad with purple hair?

I’m working through all your wonderful helpful comments in the mean time here’s a little something.

Being low I love dying my hair odd but usually gives me a real boost.

Starting with kind reddy brown hair I wanted to dip dye dark brown and purple (always wanted purple hair).

So I buy a bleach kit. Turned to shit, a mass of patchy red orange and blonde. So with a beanie on feeling like shit I go get a second.



Ok so pretty funky colours also pretty weird. My sailor goes bugger it put the purple through anyways. So he helped






And now its dried



And as crazy as it sounds I LOVE IT. Purples reds pinks blondes. And bare in mind a lot brighter now its dry. Its different, crazy and random. Never done anything like it before.

So as per the title how can one be sad with purple hair? You can’t lol

Photo editing software nightmare please help

Argh frustrated as anything (will get over it)

I love Photoshop and lightroom

Especially lightroom had it on my PC and comp crashed. So downloaded trial. Trails ended and I can’t afford to pay the monthly $9.99 USD a month works out about $30nzd.

So since I shoot in raw I’m struggling to find a programme which I can use. Any photo gurus got any ideas please

Trying the positive thing

Trying hard to be positive and pull myself out of my self loathing. Despite some negatives my life is going good. I’ve got many things to be grateful for and happy to look forward to I have goals and ambitions.

There’s the difference. Before when I’d get low I couldn’t see anything good now I’m future driven.

My baby boy turns 13 next week, a teenager. He’s a good boy, respectful, kind, focused, amazing at school has quick wit and is damn funny. So far hasn’t gotten into the normal teen rebellion, no drinking, drugs, smoking, running away etc. I’m proud of both of us for that.

My 6 year old is chatty, curious, creative, loving very intelligent.

My sailor is there’s no words which can fully describe him. While at times the man drives me crazy at times he is my rock. Nearly 8months into our relationship I feel blessed and lucky to have him. I’ve been in relationships before where at this point I had major doubts etc. But with sailor i have none if that. In a way I shocked and surprised ive not self sabotaged us. We have faced many challenges, but I believe we have what it takes to last the distance.

We are actively saving together to buy a small piece of land and build our very own tiny home together. Which brings us so much excitement. Just recently he brought up the subject of marriage and wanting that in our future to. (That blows me away to no end. I’ve never had someone truly wanting me as their wife)

We have our separate hobbies, he supports my photography and art. We support each other with everything. I can’t wait to grow old with this man.

Also spent a lot of time out with rebel my camera here’s a few of my favs













PS I also made all the candles myself, my children helped model.

So times you just need to look at the big picture and see how blessed we are


I got a call from hospital with a cancelation so went to the akin specialist. I was terrified. Shaking. My sailor came with me for support and to be a second set of ears. Which I’m so grateful for. I walked in the doc toke one look and said thats “Erythema ab igne”. Basically its a ugly huge skin thing which looks like bruising lace. Cause from use of heat pack for my back pain. So I’m not sick (back to the drawing board with other symptoms). I’m grateful to be well. However its a lot to process. This never goes away and possibly will get bigger or worse. Basically a shitload of burst blood vessels. I’m in three minds. 1 I feel stupid cause i caused it. 2 I’m grateful its not a illness. 3 I’m trying to process the fact that on top of my selfharm scars, stretch marks and scars covering me I now have this to accept.

My sailor keeps telling me I’m still beautiful but I’ve never felt this disgusted with my body.

Time to try radical acceptance

Thanks to every like and comment of support and apologize for not replying. Its been an over whelming time.

Been MIA again

I guess I don’t have sticking power when it comes to my blog right now so I’ll just post as I feel like it. Right now I’m a mix of confused, scared and plain bloody angry with the medical care im receiving and there’s nothing i can do to change it. After being mucked around trying to find out when I’ll get seen. Finally got an answer today.

I’ve received a priority score of URGENT. But get this I won’t be seen for 6-10 damn weeks. The only score above urgent is immediate. They have photographs and the nurse still wouldn’t give me any ideas on what i may be. Just a stock stand see the gp  if things get worse before the specialist can see me.

So it wasn’t in my damn head. There is something to be worried about with an urgent score. And I’m now officially terrified.

Party time

Let’s share the love today is Facebook sharing day, if you have any business/art pages pop in in the comments. Here’s mine

My photography page


And my zentangle page

Zentangle with kelz

Spring in my step – Day 15

Im pretty much all over the place at the moment. But I’m grateful for my sailor being able to make me laugh so much despite the anxiety and fear of my health issues. Bonus the hospital received my referral. And the docs have a meeting to discuss priority with all the Patients. So I’m hoping the photos and medical notes will be enough to get me seen soon. I’ll find out today or tomorrow

Spring in my step -Day 14

Thanks everyone. My niece has returned. Still unsure what happen or why, but the fear with police being called and her photo all over social media brought her out of where ever she was. I want to hug her and kick her damn arse for running away. But hey I’m only the aunty right. Anyways grateful she’s safe. And here I am keeping everything crossed for a stress free day.