Death or dying

Lately Ive heard alot about death and dying. The fear people have of death. I don’t carrying that fear. Death is part of us, it’s touched us all, one common factor we all have. My fear is instead dying. Weather it be a long drawn out process, short and leaving me unaware. What it will feel like.

Morbid as it seems even though I have a fear of dying I don’t dwell on it. I do talk about it if it comes up in conversation. I myself organized my own funeral some months back. I looked at what I wanted, where, who, what songs will play. Luckily no one needed to use this plan and I hope it won’t be used for many years.

I do wonder why people fear death itself. What ever we believe in we won’t know till it happens. Maybe it’s the unknown.

7 thoughts on “Death or dying

  1. Right up my ally. We are all going to die, right? So, all we should worry about is how we live, love, and share experiences. If we sit around worrying about death what does that accomplish? ❤ #zerocharisma


  2. Before suffering a head injury,mi was not afraid of death. Now I am overwhelmed regarding it. I keep seeing instances of those I love taken away too soon and images of my death. At one point, it was really bad, I could not close my eyes without seeing death. Something I will speak to my neurologist about at my upcoming appointment. I wonder if this is common among brain injuries.


  3. I so enjoyed your post and agree! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is good to be prepared, like you I have a detailed packet on what to do when I die. I don’t think one can truly realize how helpful that is until they have actually been in charge when one does die. Long before my being a 19 year Hospice volunteer as a bedside companion to those dying… I have accepted death for it is inevitable. I’ll never forget one vacation my parents made a side trip to pick out their headstones… I remember walking around looking at the yardage of varying samples of headstones, colors, engraving. I did not realize it at the time though when the time arrived for my mom’s death – grief taunts, playing with our emotions far more then we want/anticipate – her being prepare was one less decision for us survivors. Like you said, and it is so true, what ever we believe in, we won’t know till it happens. So better to talk about it now, make decisions, plans because when death knocks like takes on a whole new meaning.


  4. This past weekend, I had the ‘joyous’ pleasure of taking my mother to complete her pre-needs preparation for her funeral. Mind you, she has already secured her pre-needs for her burial some time ago.

    I should be comforted by the fact, she has a strong need to ensure her children are debt free after her death. The challenge for me remains, God created an inherent ability within me to handle the business side of our family affairs. Thus, by natural selection my brothers are excused from such emotional wrenching experiences. This trend began with the passing of my father at the age of nineteen and continues today.

    Moving on, here are a few things I learned from our visit.

    This particular funeral home offered two types of pre-needs policies either the guaranteed insurance policy or an annuity policy.

    The guaranteed insurance policy required a minimal down payment of $50 and then subsequent payments of x amount of dollars depending on your age (life expectancy). Under this plan, if payments are made for two years and one day the beneficiary is absolved of all future payments, in the event death occurs, anytime after two years and day two. I find that soothing and troubling at the same time.

    The annuity plan requires the same minimal down payment, but the subsequent monthly payments are lowered for those unable to meet the financial obligations of an insurance policy’s payment schedule. Under this plan, however, there is no absolution of the remaining premium, if death occurs.

    There were times during this wonderful experience I caught myself cringing at the hypocrisy and overwhelming greed of our society. For example, there was a casket with a price tag of $45,000. It was cream and trimmed in gold. Really? No seriously, really? I intentionally just hide my soapbox. 🙂

    Nevertheless, while the idea of losing my mother troubled me on the inside, I do understand her need to choose and prepare her own homecoming. Personally, I believe I possess the mindset of a child with matters of death at times. “I am too young to consider such things”, I say. In reality, while this is so very true, I also must confess, I have not grown to a level of maturity in this regard. My homecoming is intangible at this time in my life. I visualize there is much left to be done, which prevents me from veering into the tunnel of death. I have heard, a person knows when their time has come. I do not hear a whisper in this regard at this time. Yet, if God did call me home, I rely on the insurance policies my mother continues to carry in my name for such a purpose.

    As I work this out as I write it here, death and dying are relative terms in my book. Each assumes one is truly living. If I am afraid to die and never leave my comfort zone. Am I truly living? If I am dying, and never read a book or take a walk on a warm sunny day, because the pain is too great. Am I truly living?

    When the issue of death or dying comes up, I inevitably return to a phrase I often speak over my life, “I choose to live and not die!” So no matter the test, the trial, or the issue before me, I choose to live!


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