I’ve written about him often, the love the pain. Trying to accept the demise of three and a half years. Knowing he gave me the biggest highs and the lowest of lows. Trying to hold on yet knowing I must let go. Coming to realise I just can’t fix what has broken. Knowing one person can’t fix the partnership. It takes two. Knowing I’m on the train to heal and knowing he is still at the station. Telling him we all deserve better. We deserve respect. When time is all that we want. We don’t deserve the walls so high. I am worth the best. I am worth having it all. I deserve to live a life not on egg shells. Not in limbo waiting for you. I deserve happiness and support. I hope on day you realise I didn’t end it because I wanted to. I ended it because you backed me into a corner giving me no option but to stand tall. I didn’t end it because I didn’t love you. I ended it because I love you. I end it to free you from us. I ended to let grow and learn. I look back with no regret. I look back treasuring the good times and accepting the bad. As you lay in only my memories. People will ask do you know …….. I will smile and say I use to. I will see you. Smiling knowing I tried, knowing I will never forget not regret.