BPD and parenting

A while ago I was asked by a fellow blogger about parenting and bpd (boarderline personality disorder) and how it affects my parenting and children. Most of my mental illness is minimised for them. They don’t know about my attempts or self harm. They know mummy was very sick and sad and was in hospital a few times. They know I’ve been in therapy and group. I’ve discussed the ins and outs. Why I did it, basically what it involves. I’ve been honest now when mummy is sad. It’s ok mummy is allow to cry or get angry sometimes. But mummies skills will make it better. They have both seen how low I was, and now how stable I am. I’ve had to gain their trust again. They were both scared they would have to move out again. It’s ongoing with their trust. It can take something simple as me crying to bring it back to them. But they are proud of how much I’ve achieved. They know mummy sets routines and guidelines and follow through with more fair punishments. If I’m having bad day. I’ll tell them mummy is grumpy lets cut each other some slack. They are more helpful with there jobs in the home. It’s also meant that they open up to me fully. They believe me when I say mummy understands. Over all having bpd does effect my parenting. But in a good way. It makes me more aware of how my/adults issues affect them. It’s give me power to teach them about kindness and empthany. How to be less judgemental. How to understand that even though life can be extremely hard. If you work hard enough you can make anything happen. Also that despite having a mental illness, that’s only part of a person. Labels are just that labels. Real men cry. And most important. How to be proud of ones achievements no matter how big or small.

8 thoughts on “BPD and parenting

  1. I have had to deal with severe depression and thoughts of self harm in two of my three children. I know how hard dealing with mental illness is. You seem to have a firm handle on the issues and are making all the right moves. I know enough to know I can’t possibly know how it feels to be you, but I am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way anyway. I may not know very much, but I’m rooting for you to win on a daily basis.

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  2. As a mommy with depression and anxiety I have had to explain my bad days as sad days and I found it helpful in parenting as well. My children, I feel are able to open up more easily with me about their feelings since I am open about mine. Mental illness is hereditary though and just as I inherited it from my mother, grandmother, father and my husband from his family my son showed signs at a very young age. We had to begin medication with him at the age of 9. The positive about being open and honest I feel gave him tools to deal with his own struggle. I grew up with a family that didn’t discuss or treat their illness. My daughter shows no signs of any mental illness. I would like to ask if you see any signs of the same struggles in your children? I know that you may not want to answer and completely understand but I thought I would ask in case you were open to discussing that.

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