Power of love

Why is it that for the past six months I thought that I was moving on, over him. I knew I still loved him. But I’d accepted that despite my wants and feelings we were over. Maybe I’d just pushed it aside thinking I’d dealt with it. Then bang one text from him. Bang seeing him once, not even talking to him. Bang once again he’s all I can think about.

I had even started entertaining the thought of one day having a new partner. There have been a few men who had caught my eye. But something held me back.

Now as I lay here in darkness, silence apart from my own breathing. Everything’s coming flooding back the good and not so good. Little things, big things, silly things. Our rings. How we use to say I love you more plus one. How he would interlock his fingers around mine as we fell asleep tucking our hands under the blanket coz he didnt like his hands cold. Him showing me clips on YouTube. Dedicating songs to me. I still can’t listen to them to this day.

I never believed in soul mates until I meet him. Then when we separated I thought about other men and thought well maybe I was wrong. But its all still there. My love for him so present and strong. My heart won’t let go and my mind won’t forget. How do you give up on something you want as your forever.

How can someone hold so much power over my heart and not even know it.

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29 thoughts on “Power of love

  1. Sometimes love has no explanation. Feelings just ~are~. Including broken hearts. Take time to heal, knowing the healing process is painful in itself. And don’t give up on your love for him — maybe you two can one day work through the nightmares you left behind. Things can never be the same, but there can be fresh starts. But not until you do some healing.

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  2. I’ve been going through a similar situation. Just have to take it one day at a time and have faith that one day it will all be okay. One of my favorite bands has a very fitting quote that helps me when I feel this way: “There will come a time, you’ll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.” Have faith. Love yourself. Most importantly, be patient with yourself.

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  3. Isn’t it frustrating how seemingly small actions that one does (e.g. sending a text) can completely throw someone else out of balance? We are unfortunately so oblivious to how our actions can impact others…

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  4. Tender, touching and beautiful.
    More honest than most people would be about such things.
    Your love for each other has been something that has helped to form you, to transform you, to make you who you are. You can’t take that away from him or from your relationship with him.
    I’ve always believed that when love is that strong, that powerful, that encompassing that nothing will ever take it away.
    Sometimes people don’t fall out of love, it just takes them in a different direction than they saw coming.
    And often it leads them down a path to a love even deeper.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Sometimes you might think it was your soul mate and you’ve lost him. But then suddenly the real soul mate comes along and puts everything in perspective. Don’t give up. Don’t move backwards. Look ahead. The future holds something for you. You can just not see it yet.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. When we miss someone, we really miss what we were feeling when we were with them rather than anything else. These feelings are generated inside of us. I wish for you the recreation of those feelings of warmth and of being loved. Hang in there…

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  7. It takes time. Depending on how deep the wound or injury. There is a different diagnosis for each as well as a different recovery time. You’re not together for a reason.
    Humble suggestion from a stranger: when you have moments like these in the future, politely acknowledge the feeling then set aside a predesignated time to allow yourself to process the feeling. Set a timer.
    If you’re in the middle of a work day, tell yourself, “hey, I’m going to save this thought for later” and then continue on with your day.

    Try it… Tell me how it goes. And remember, you are worthy of love.

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  8. I think the most important thing to do is acknowledge that love is always with us whether or not the source of that love is still around. How else could we have moments like these? Love can be tapped into all the time – stay positive about the love you shared because it’s still there, no matter what, and staying positive will bring in more 🙂

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  9. After my divorce, I thought I would naturally move on when I stopped loving him… After much pain I’m wiser, and now realize that you never stop loving them, even when you’re angry at them, or hurt by them.. and that moving on is a choice. You accept that you’re not together because you are no longer a good match or you grew at different rates. Once you accept that you will always love him – it gets easier :o)

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  10. Love is a bond that was made far beneath this world and long before we were born into this world. That’s why it feels so strong and close… sometimes from the first moment on. Not easy, to let someone go. The love will stay forever but we have to find ways to embed it in our life in a different way. This is one of the hardest lessons to learn but also one that forms and strengthens us the most. We ask about the Why. We ask about the How. And we don’t get an answer. Only when we find a way of changing our focus, look at other things in life (not another man), then we slowly can get kind of a distance in order to see more of the context. We never know what life has in store for us. And maybe sometimes we have to develop something inside of us in order to make a new start (with new things or with old things in a new way)!

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  11. Limerence? I’ve been studying it myself. When I researched it, I was surprised there was this term and concept I have never heard before. You are not the only one who feels this way, whatever name describes it. Learning about limerence is helping me understand my feelings and cope. I’m with you on this and wishing you the best as you work through your feelings.

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  12. He has a strong hold to your heart because you have let him in. He knows your ins and outs and this is a consequence for letting yourself love one more than you could afford. You will be strong, one day. You will get through this. Remember that bruises it gave you and learn from them. You’ll be able to see with both eyes open once you digest everything you have gathered. Lovely words, by the way. God Bless you.

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  13. Pingback: Soul Mates | LoLo's Log

  14. What makes love so amazingly wonderful is also what makes it hurt so much when it is gone. Acknowledging your feelings of loss is one step in moving forward after the loss. It has been 4 months since my relationship ended and I am just now starting to feel like “me” again. I know I will get there, but as much as I want the healing to happen NOW it takes its own path. Keep going, one day at a time.

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  15. I totally agree with NatureSpeak who said “when we miss someone we actually miss who we were around them”
    I’ve been there and felt that and I know exactly how you feel, but I’m sure you don’t need to know my story (you’ve got enough of yours), but let me tell you you’re not the first neither the last one to feel this way. I think we all at some points get disappointed and feel broken, but still most of us find something to hold on and move on. – that’s the beautiful truth, but the sad part of it is that if you don’t hate the other person you will always think about him, and ‘what if’ question will always flow in your brain. All you need is time. Time won’t make you forget the other person, it will just make you used to missing him/her.

    Only in times when you will find real love – you will be glad you were broken once – because only then you will understand that those broken glasses led you to your real happiness..

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  16. The best way to let muddy water settle is to too nothing. My mind and heart have been in similar places and the only way to get through it is to feel it in its full capacity and have faith. It will come and go in waves— Try and curb your energy into yourself and one day it will just be easier. Sending good vibes your way!

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  17. Heartache is truly a unique thing. It’s quite ironic that I call it unique, because almost everyone goes through it at some point. But your pain belongs to no one else. There is no one with whom to truly understand your own heartache. Comforting words are fickle, and can frequently do more harm than good.

    Breathe in the good. Breathe out the bad.

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  18. Maybe he wasn’t the “one.” Maybe you’re like me and fall in love all too easily. Maybe you think you need love, you need validation, you need someone to care for you. I thought all those things. I was wrong. The love I needed was love from myself to myself. All the love in the world wasn’t good enough, I never felt complete.. In fact, I was empty, depressed, even active suicidal. I turned to drugs for relief. I made so many mistakes in my life. I was diagnosed as borderline. That diagnosis was the first thing in my life that spoke to me. Some people hate this diagnosis.. I embraced it. I believe this condition resulted from rape earlier in life, overlapping with PTSD. I was so desperate for love and validation that I dated guys who were bad, ugly, anything but what I wanted or needed. But it gave me that validation. I continued to experience rape and unwanted sex. But I loved it, because I felt like I was needed. Just for that singular moment of being fucked. Then I felt used. I felt regret. I hated them, I hated me. I would overdose every time, to “get back” at them. But the only person I hurt was myself. I’m lucky to have survived, fourteen suicide attempts later. Sometimes it doesn’t feel lucky, it feels like a curse. But I’m slowly learning that I’m a good guy, I’m someone that is lovable, and I’m someone that is needed. Not for sex though. Don’t let yourself be used for sex just to feel fleeting love. It’s not real. I’m now homeless, addicted to meth, still actively suicidal, depressed, and finding validation through sex. I know it’s wrong. But I can’t escape the cycle. Don’t become me! Learn from my mistakes, but don’t repeat them yourself. You don’t need another person to be loved, to be validated, to be completed. You need you. Love yourself and you’ll find that you don’t need the rape, the abuse, the harshness, the fleeting love. You don’t need it because you have your own pride, your own love, your own self. I hope you find yourself within yourself, not as a reflection of others. I believe in you. I hope you do too.

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  19. I could connect to every word you wrote.. Easy to say that moving on is the only solution, which is, indeed, the only solution. Things come and go from our life to create a perfect space and atmosphere for the better things coming our way.

    Just know that, if something is getting out of our hands then it was never meant to be held back. More we learn to cut loose, more we will receive. You loved him more than anything and that opened your heart to love and freedom.
    You have a wonderful life full of Love and Happiness..

    You are awesome for sharing your experience.

    Keep Sharing!!

    Cheers!

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