Bitter sweet days

Yesterday Was bitter sweet day for me you see it was my ex partners birthday. We have been back in contact for six weeks (believe me there’s lots to the story with blogs post coming up). I’d decided to get him a little gift just a card lotto ticket (ongoing joke with us) and a keyring my daughter once told me he’d like. The plan was to text him just to say happy birthday. 204 texts later, so many things discussed and the day was over. Bitter sweet because while the amount of contact exceeded my expectations I didn’t get to see him. And I miss him. Today its worse. I wanted to make him his cake. I wanted to cook his birthday meal. I want to celebrate with him. As a family back together. Of course it didn’t happen. The had thing with me is that I didn’t realise it at the time but I had hopes for the day that weren’t ever able to be meet.

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12 thoughts on “Bitter sweet days

  1. Starting over with a tentative friendship in place will allow you to implement whatever boundaries you need. I know that sting of nostalgia all to well. There’s still a pang I feel in my heart over my ex…. Even though I’m happily married, and madly in love with my family. The past can’t always be explained, sometimes it just simply is…

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  2. It’s never an easy thing. I really have nothing to add to what’s already been said but to wish you the best, and add my support to those already counted in. You’re not alone.

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  3. Reading your posting was reminiscent of some experiences that I have had. Now that I look back at the emotions that were experienced within those moments of unencumbered expectation, I realize how “alive” I felt. Even though some of those expectations never bare any fruit to speak of, I would still do it all over again to experience those amazing feelings of expectation again. Essentially, I just want to say “All wasn’t lost”.

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