Love :(:

I grew up observing. Watching people. Attempting to learn. I always knew love wasnt a simple concept. Many layers of love, excitement, happiness, give n take, hope, dreams, pain. Break ups. Make ups. I swore never to fall in love. Never put myself in that hold. Fast fasterward. Not long after I turned 26 I meet him. Instant connection. Never believed in soul mates. I had some of the best times of my life. Back and forward.  We separated. I was heart broken. Finally I said no more love isn’t enough. Now he’s been back in my life for three plus months. I want to tell him. Its still their I still am in love with him with every part of me. Surely he must know. Right? Still the chemistry, connection. Talking more openly and honest then ever before. Yet I stumble when I try to tell him. My own fears of complete utter rejection. I don’t know how to do it. How to tell him what i want. Despite 2 years of therapy. I can’t bring myself to say those three words. I want you. I need you. I love you. Never have I felt more emotionally stunted.

Advertisements

20 thoughts on “Love :(:

  1. you’re not me, and i can’t say i know fully what you have experienced; but i identify at a soul level with you. so i just want to encourage you from having been (still am at times) in that place behind a shield of protection from rejection where i am anxious and frightened and want to keep out the chance of being hurt. when i finally (after years of counseling) made peace with allowing my heart to feel hurt sometimes and not being afraid of that, i became able to give love and receive the degrees of love others are able to share without expecting it to match my own level of giving… and to bear pain of unmet expectations without building a barrier to the joyful things… i just got tired of being numb and decided to choose to feel and deal and pray… (still in counseling)… will be praying for you ❤ may love triumph…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You have a lovely blog!! No matter what happens, I hope you find a great connection with a lovely person, whether it’s someone from your past or a new mystery person in your future. 🙂
    -Kelly

    Like

  3. It’s about you. When you feel worthy, and have a healthy self esteem you will ask for what you want. You know you deserve to have what you want. If he can’t give it to you then it’s not going to work whether you ask or don’t ask. My guess is you’re afraid. Don’t be. Best outcome he agrees and you feel empowered. Worst.. He can’t and you are closer to getting what you really want/need.

    Like

  4. There is incredible strength in vulnerability, let your light shine and never hold back, we are here to love, with all our hearts, whether someone else is ready for it, you will never know and can’t control their response but you will always be more of who you are for showing up authentically. Blessings to you and have faith in yourself.

    Like

  5. Pingback: Love :(: | Juliet's Blog

  6. Get out there and risk it! If he laughs at you was he worth it? Would he still be worth it? Are YOU worth someone who would laugh at you or disregard your words? You are worth so much more than that!! Do not delay what your heart needs.

    Like

  7. I feel that the most important thing in a relationship is communication. It clears misunderstandings and keeps bonds tight. I hope that, when you feel it is right, you communicate your feelings and find joy in the consequences. 🙂 Good luck

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s