I never feel like my needs matter. I was ok earlier and now for no real reason I feel tearful and anxious. I’m lonely. Bitterly sadly lonely. I know people feel they can’t get anything right with me at the moment. But staying away is making me more backed in to a lonely corner. Sick of reaching out and feeling rejected. This all feels so real to me. Likely all in my head. I’m in flight mode. I’ve realised that since Christmas I’ve had four visitors. Him. His cousin (still confused about that visit) my meant to be best friend and my mother. Now they seem to have had enough of my sadness.