I’ve been reading comments and while a lot are supportive of me, a good portion appears to be over my recent posts. This I fully understand. One thing about my blog is to express myself. As I don’t feel I have any other outlets.
Friends and family
Yip my mothers around. I guess she tries but with bipolar and her issues. She has been less then supportive. I have a large family in a small town none of whom have contacted me for 18months nor responded when I’ve reached out. I have one friend, whom I’ve reached out to for weeks and only yesterday finally reslised I’m at breaking. I thought I had other friends but no matter how I try to reach out I don’t get a response. Good or bad.
There’s a man I’m deeply in love with whom loves me. Guess you can call him a trigger. I know people think I should just move on. However I’ve tried for two years and am more in love then ever. He also has the issue of in my opinion self doubt, low self esteem and if not depression I’d be shocked.
Dbt and mental health.
Whilst I know that I’m low. I’ve completed dbt and intensive one on one therapy for approx 18months after my attempts at my life. We learnt a range of skills for which I use everyday. To help ride the rapids, prevent self harm etc. I use it all daily. I rung my old therapist last week who said I’m using the skills and doing well. After 6 weeks of school holidays with one break.
So while it may appear that I’m not trying to help myself I am doing the opposite. I make sure I’m taking my children for walks everyday to parks n beach etc. I’m writing daily. I’m gardening and tending to my children, home, cooking. I’m using my tip skills for anxiety, taking my one pill a day, self soothing, medataion, music etc. Have the crisis teams number should I need it, I’ve not selfharmed even though the urge has been there.
this for me is a life long challenge, where I mostly do well. Other times not.