Nerves are kicking in

Nerves are kicking in. About my girls birthday party. I know me I get extremely anxious and then it turns out fine. Nerves are over the people coming. Its the standard crowd. But they don’t see eye to eye.

Pretty much because he will be here with the children and his mother. My mum really likes him and they get on well. Only she’s not happy how things have turned out and doesn’t want us hurt. I can fully understand this. I’ve been scared cause of the recent developments that he won’t show. Even though he has told me he will. Maybe even try to reassure me.

People are of the opinion that he’s not their bio father so don’t invite him. But he is daddy and she wants him there. As does my boy. Him and his family deserve to be there.

I also scared to see him. I know we will be fine in each others company. Just so hard having to see him after not for 2 weeks. I want to see him but I don’t. I don’t want to look him in the eyes. He will know that I don’t want him gone once he sees that’s. There is not hiding when he’s in front of me.

Despite all the mixed feelings after the first five minutes of awawardness everyone will settle in and have a blast.


11 thoughts on “Nerves are kicking in

  1. The one thing you say in here, the one I find most touching, most honest…
    … the thing that speaks volumes of your insight and compassion, and of your love and concern for your daughter:
    “… he’s not their bio father so don’t invite him. But he is daddy ….”
    In all the years I spend dealing with single moms that is something that many of them never grew to understand.
    Or cared to.
    Just one more reason you are a mum to be treasured.

    And everything running through your mind?
    Pass something on to you that my beloved Jungian Yoda back in Boulder once told me:
    “Anticipation is always more intense than realization.”
    Your imagination can cook things up that are wildly out of the reach afforded reality.
    And sometimes your heart knows things your mind can’t comprehend.
    You will indeed have a blast.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s a challenge to face a situation you’d rather avoid. But one day it would come anyway. So see it as another step of dealing with the situation and of coming one step closer to a solution that in the end will be the relief for everyone. Don’t worry about what could be. Just enjoy what you are given that day: A gathering of people you love and who get along well. Not all the families can say that most of all not after a separation!

    Liked by 1 person

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