Wow overcome with new high level of pain today. The sadness the, hurt, hope. Unknown and out of my control. My kids miss him so badly. It hurts to watch. I am honest with my children. But what can I say. Its been over a week since he seen them at my girls party. He said he wants them in his life. But what do I tell my babies? I hope he comes back but I don’t know when. My girl cried for him every night for months getting worse not better. I miss my boys. I miss him. My heart is shattered. I’m tired. I’m trying. I can’t even contact him to talk about the kids cause stupidly I deleted his number. I don’t know what to do. I can’t seem to move on. It just gets harder. I’m feeling and acknowledging it. I’m trying to accept. Accept what I don’t know. Because I know nothing.