Oh my god give me bloody strength. I heard my phone go off this morning. Secretly hoping it was him. Hahaha nope just a text from the phone company to top up. Then sitting in my carport having a coffee and smoke. Hear a ute/truck coming. My heart swear to god skipped a beat. Thought was him. But nahhhhh was neighbours visited with similar looking truck. More disappointment and sadness. I swear I’m just crazy. Its so stupid to be hoping so much for something that may or may not happen. And this is all while trying to spring clean to distract myself from thinking about him.