Apparently its simple.

Apparently its simple. Just move on right? Let it go? Live life? Forget the one I love? Stop caring about what happens to my step sons! Don’t give a shit about how my mother in laws doing! Simple my damn arse! Simple as time. Like that’s going to erase all the moments I treasure. Its not going to stop the physical longing. Its not going to stop my mind going over and over. Its not going to stop the guilt I feel to my four children for putting them in this situation. Yes I get up every single painful day, I take good care of my children. I clean my home, cook excellent meals, I try to find pleasure. Weather it be this blog, a movie, smiling at strangers. Yes I still leave my house when I would rather stay in the safety of my home. Yes I read, I cry, I have to much hope. Yes to many I’m just a foolish girl who won’t let go. What no one sees is all that I do to try to move on. Every single skill I use from therapy. Every little battle I face. So no its not as simple as just moving on. If I didn’t express through my writing it would stay bottled inside me waiting to explode. So if your frustrated. Try just for a moment to put yourself in my shoes and realise how frustrated I am with myself. Life isn’t black in white. Its taken me so long to see that. The way I heal, move on or stick with hope is the only way I know how. It doesn’t make it wrong. It makes it my life.


50 thoughts on “Apparently its simple.

  1. I’ve never thought moving on meant having to forget others that have played an important part in our lives. It’s hard, it’s painful, and the sometimes the only thing that helps get through is knowing that it will get easier. One foot in front of the other one day at a time…even baby steps are steps forwards.Give yourself time…

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  2. Moving on… To the next hurdle… The next hit where it hurts most. But move on we must and every door that shuts leaves more space for opportunities. I’m hurting tonight but reading your post gives me faith I’m not alone and tomorrow will be new.

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  3. if it were that easy you would have been done with all of it already…life isn’t easy…I think it’s a path of life that we all have to take rather it be heartache, being homeless, just everyday struggle we all have to go through something rather it be easy or not I always think as long as we learn a lesson from it, it makes it worth it in the end…I don’t know if this came out right but I tried lol..and I just care about how you are doing…huggs to you Suzette

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  4. This post is SO relatable. I’m pretty sure my pain doesn’t come from the same type of situation as yours, but it still speaks to me. As soon as I read the first two sentences I knew I was going to like this. It can be so hard to move on, especially if a part of you doesn’t want to. I always think writing is a healthier and safer way of coping than verbalizing or physicality. Keep going! You are trying and that is already one step in the right direction 🙂

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  5. Been there, done that. It’s not easy. But really…what choice do you have except move on. You just have to put one foot in front of the other. You have to be brave to win a battle, you cannot surrender to a powerful enemy like guilt or fear.
    And there was some wise man who once said: this too, shall pass. And it will…it always does. Another wise man said: life is a roller coaster, hang on, enjoy the ride…the ups and the downs. But I bet that guy hadn’t seen the new super-fast coasters with all those upside-down loops in them that make you feel like you wish you’d never even gotten on the thing.

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  6. It is hard and i don’t think the pain will ever really go away. We wake up each day and just do the things we need to do and then one day, without realising it, it’s ok. The missing, the longing is still there but it’s not ‘in your way’ anymore. It has a place deep inside your heart and you’ll be able to smile again like you always used too.. Just let it be and hang on. It will come when the time is right..

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  7. That’s the best and worst thing about healing-there’s no one way. Best in the sense that you dont have to feel wrong for going through your motions in the way you do, worst in that there’s no rule book to know and follow the play by play to make to pacify the process and/or make it go a bit faster. Everything takes time and writing is the greatest confirmation of progress, healing, and hope.

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  8. I’m sick of being told to let go and move on and live each day as if it’s your last. There are some things that you can’t move on from. You can’t just walk out of a bad situation if someone else, like a daughter, needs you to stay. Sometimes you just have to hang in there for a year or two or three.
    Sometimes we just learn to take it for a bit longer.

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  9. Letting go is as much difficult as much as holding on is sometimes. Hope God or whatever force you draw life’s inspiration from gives you the strength to find a new centre of gravity. I have been somewhat in a similar position and I have learnt that you never really let go. You just accept that you can’t hold on any more and that if you try the world just slips you by. Hope you receive the inspiration to move on.

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