To my valentine

To my valentine

While the day isn’t a big day for us as it is for many. Its a day fill with bitter sweet emotions for me. Remember our first? I do every minute. Chinese take out, sitting on the bluff, exchanging our gift of matching rings. Just us for once. Last year I sent you a valentines card via mail with a lotto ticket. Our ongoing if we win lotto we are going to oz. You gave me the cutest card and chocs. But the best part of that day was the happy valentines text you sent me first thing in the morning. This year your somewhere I don’t know where. But your not here. I wish beyond anything that you were. This year part of me wished for something that could wipe the memories from more then 4 years of knowing you. Something to take away this ongoing never easing pain that I’ve found myself in. Darling they say its better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all. Right now part of me wishes I’d never seen you that day never responded to your message online. Never fallen in love with you. Because I’d never have to experience this. Yet everywhere I turn I’m reminded of us. I continuously think if you. I dream of you every night. I worry about you. I want to hug you. I want to hold on so tight that I never let go. I don’t know how this will turn out. I can’t seem to shift the hope that one day. You are my best friend and my soul mate. The pure love of my life. I want you happy again

Happy valentines my darling I love you more each day xox forever in my heart and soul

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24 thoughts on “To my valentine

  1. Wow.
    Hey. I want to thank you for sharing something so personal with us. Really, it’s not so easy. It’s one of the toughest things to do.

    Your words are honest, direct and just beautiful. It’s just beautiful, simple yet very touching. Great post. Thanks for letting me a part of it.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Relationships MUST have trust….. if he came back today could you trust him not to leave again, would you think he had abandoned you everytime he came home late or you didn’t know where he was? Do your girls deserve a father image that is here today gone tomorrow? Write a valentine letter to your girls and tell them how precious they are to you. CThey deserve a valentine…..he doesn’t.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve never fell in love in my adult life and it seems absolutely true to me that it’s better to have loved and lost your love than … etc. I often feel an unbearable loneliness which I’d do anything to get rid of. Thanks for your honest words …

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Some people believe it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I say, tell that to the heartbroken and you will get a very different response. I agree that sometimes it seems better to not remember anything when someone is gone, but think of the good that you have experienced. Remember that first Valentine’s day fondly and do not shy away from the good memories. Try (and I know it will be hard) but do not let the later sadness taint those happy times. We all have struggles to go through in life, and they will make you a stronger person. I know it’s cliched but it has held true in my life. Take good care of yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

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