Weather it was the closure dream, seeing him or something else. I’ve come to realise, while I still love mark. I’ve let go. I may always love him. Love the boys. I’m for the first time since we originally separated over two years ago able to say no more. No more pain, no more letting me down, no more waiting hoping. It does hurt but I know I have to put me first. I don’t hate him. I want the best for him. To me loving someone includes wanting them happy even if that means we apart. He is no longer my weakness. I am now my strength. So when he comes back like he always does. I know as hard as it will be I am strong enough to stand tall and say no.