Do we ever really know someone

Do we ever really know someone? After an intense conversation with my mum today. We were both left pondering this question. She and I are becoming close again. But as she said I know you bub. Yet I only know you that your prepared for me to see. I thought I knew people in my past but appears I knew them with limits. Do we just blindly throw ourselves into relationships or friendships. Hoping we will know the real person. Or are we closed to the fact we all have such deep, secret filled souls, that we can only but scratch the surface. Gliding through life. Unprepared to question a person for the fear they’ll walk away. So as I should be closing my eyes drifting into a blissful sleep. I wonder do we ever really know someone? Do we even know ourselves?


63 thoughts on “Do we ever really know someone

  1. Good questions! I have been burdened with the heartache of someone that I love dearly saying that who I am….is NOT who I am at all! It is bizarre and leaves me wondering if I ever really knew THAT person! So how do we really know then? It brings to mind the song…If you don’t know me by now…you will never never never know me! Well…I truly hope that isn’t the case in real life!

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  2. There are some people who truly know me but that has taken decades as I only have just come to know who I am. Personally I think we’re consistently in motion. We’re always changing and growing, and there are some stages that are beautiful and some that are ugly. People walk into our lives at these various stages and get a snapshot of what they think and who they think we are. Have you ever tried to take a picture of a moving object? It blurrs! So people walk around with blurred images of who they think we are because they caught us mid-progression.

    I know some people who think I am a monster. I know others who think I am a saint. I am neither. I am a person who has been a monster, been a saint and learned from both!

    Keep growing!

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    • I thought the same, until I realise they know me for what they saw over the years, I dont believe anyone truly knows who I am. I like that that people get a snap shot. Really relate to this “I know some people who think I am a monster. I know others who think I am a saint. I am neither.”


  3. You can know someone but it’s terrifying when you begin the process. Like you said you are revealing parts of you that no one knows, saying things you never said aloud before to another soul and they might walk away when they see the uglier bits, they might laugh or be appalled. My hubby and I knew each other all the way to the core before his TBI, now he doesn’t remember who I am, …
    Still for twenty wonderful years we both knew what it was to be totally completely loved, accepted and understood. Most people don’t want to really know, they don’t want to know the things about you that would hurt or disappoint them. My kids and I are building that kind of relationship too. It’s hard for both of us, hard for them to know mom isn’t perfect, hard for me to see some of the things they carry in their hearts. It’s a process, but it is worth the journey.

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  4. I believe that we only know someone as much as we are able to open up for the person. Mostly we only see what we want to see, or what we feel in certain chapters of our lives. Therefore we will always discover new aspects in others – like we discover them in ourselves. Life itself through its events and happenings makes us discover in different and new ways. Look back in your own history.

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  5. My life experience has taught me that there is only one person we can ever “know”, and that is ourselves. We can never hear the conversations, conflict, fears, and influences that work within the mind of another person. It is hard enough trying to figure out ourselves without having to figure out anyone else. Once you know yourself, even well enough, you won’t need to worry about knowing someone else, because you know you’ll be able to handle, and survive anything they may say or think.

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  6. A couple of thoughts:
    1) How can we ever know anyone fully, when we have trouble knowing ourselves fully?
    2) Even if we were able to know someone fully, could be actually known them fully for more than an instant before a new external stimulation changes them?
    3) Is it important to know people fully to create strong bonds? Or could it be that what’s more important is that we trust them and accept them as they are–then our relationship become a life long journey of discovery!

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  7. Its an intriguing question really. I just acknowledged this morning who I am becoming- finding out the reasons and meanings behind myself, actions, likes and dislikes. Ive come to know and accept my flaws and have mastered admitting and apologizing when I’m wrong, regardless of level of embarrassment which admitting took me a long time to realize was a problem. I’m finally comfortable enough with myself to be my actual self and its freeing. Doing this has truly allowed me to see my husband, kids, and even friends in a truer light, accepting them for themselves as well. Its great! I hope we can all get to this point- I figured I was just getting older lol

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  8. It seems everyone has a mysterious side that’s always waiting to be discovered. It feels as though I’ll never really know my closest friends and family members, or even myself. I like it, to a point. Definitely not boring!

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  9. At 68, I’m still working on the “self” knowing … but one thing I can offer here is a true appreciation of an honest look at how we try to get a grip on what it is to be us, to know us, to understand us. Maybe the “fully” part is not meant to be. Maybe the mystery is what drives us toward understanding. Regardless, thanks for this post. Makes me think — and I like what makes me think.

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  10. I asked this to a friend of mine. She said that one can only know a person, as much as they know themselves. That kept me wandering for days. I guess, knowing yourself is the first step in knowing others.

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  11. I think friendships and and relationships are uniquely intrinsic to human nature in that we can’t go it alone; it takes at least two to be friends, partners, so, therefore, to get to know someone is a duel process requiring commitment from both persons and is certainly possible. We will only ever get to know someone to the extent that he or she allows herself to be known to us, and also to the extent of our willingness, curiosity, and motivation in wanting to connect with him or her. It’s a two-way street that, in my opinion, isn’t necessarily fuelled by hope, but rather by both our own impetuses.

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