So much to say

There’s so much I want to say to him. To express how I feel. Show how much he already means to me. I don’t know how. I can write it. Yet I can’t say it. I find it easy to express on here my challenge is to learn to express it in my real life. He’s made such an impact on my life. From meeting him in group well over a year ago to the past month. I remember the day he made me cry. Its imprinted in my memory. While I can’t remember the words he spoke. I remember how I felt. A man sat there, complimenting me, praising me. I didn’t know how to deal with it so I walked out of the room in tears. Because it was genuine and I’d not had that. I want to be ok being vulnerable. Time to learn to accept. Time to learn how to express

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52 thoughts on “So much to say

  1. Sometimes you can say everything with your eyes. You can tell a story with your face and a smile. You can conduct a symphony with a touch, play a piano with a scent. You need not say anything. And, sometimes, all you have to do is say what’s in your heart. He’ll get it.

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  2. Yeah, as a writer, I find it much easier to express my feelings through my fingertips over a keyboard then through words coming from my mouth. I think it’s about the fact that I can and do edit what I type. When something comes straight from my mouth, there’s sometimes a disconnect between what I’m thinking I want to say versus what I actually end up saying (or stumble to say). How it comes out the first time is how it comes out. So the fact that I can edit and perfect something that I type, then re-read it and think about editing and perfecting it some more, gives me a good deal of comfort.

    I should practice the face-to-face expression, though, so thank you for making me think about that. lol 🙂

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  3. “Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable bearing hear. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things.” – Zooey Deschanel

    I love this quote and your post made me think of it. I too have a hard time expressing how I feel and I am so much better at it when I blog. What helps me is to stop more often when I talk and think. That silence was awkward for me at first but I am learning to use it to put my thoughts together. Being vulnerable can be a really beautiful thing.

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  4. Your words on paper have touched us all. Meet this challenge of expressing your heart using words, even if you must close your eyes. 😉 As a new author now expected to do some public speaking, I’m working on this challenge, too.

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  5. Vulnerability is a scary one. I associate it with weakness, loss of control, and risk … if I allow myself to be vulnerable, you have the power to hurt me. I protect myself by keeping people at arms length, even though I know the distance means I miss out on certain things.

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  6. Write him letters and then read them to him. They might be funny, loving, passionate, or even sometimes expressing hurt when you have disagreed over something. Leave him notes, send crazy texts, saucy photos etc. A massage after work, his favorite meal, giving him your undivided attention when he needs it, listening to him, hearing him. It’s like having your heart outside your body, totally vulnerable but also the only way to allow him to actually touch it.

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  7. I think getting the message across, no matter the medium, will be effective. There are some things that are better to be read, and there are things that are better to be heard. The important part is for the message to be genuine, and however you approach this problem I’m sure it will be highly effective.

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  8. We communicate in many ways. I am a writer. But, I know that we can communicate in non verbal ways. The eyes are the gateway to the soul. I do beleive that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being vulnerable and showing that. One deserves praise for that because in that vulnerability is where the real spiritual strength dwellls.

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  9. You are such a sweet heart it seems! Some of the biggest regrets in life are not saying what we want to say and when we should say them! I would tell him how you feel…. even if it burns your life to the ground, say how you feel and mean it. You don’t want to be stuck with what if… What if you never tell him! xo

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  10. write your heart out on paper–pretty paper or plain…take a photo that expresses some of your heart and share what it means to you with him…just a couple of ways you might use that creativity inside you to acknowledge his blessings to you and return the blessing in a personal way… praying for you…

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  11. I’m going to have to stop reading your blog for the night or I’ll never get to sleep.

    I am not a naturally outgoing person. If you ask the people that know me they’ll have trouble believing that. Whether it’s being the clown for everyone’s amusement or opening up to someone about how I feel about them, it scares the daylights out of me.

    My mom and brother died when I was 14 and there are so many things I wish I had said. I decided then that I’d rather make a complete fool of myself than let opportunities to say what I want to say pass me by. It’s been nearly 26 years and it is easier but it’s still not easy.

    I hope you find the will and the way to say the things you want to say.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Wow, look at all the comments here, you really touched a common cord with a lot of us… I was recently heartbroken and I wrote a lot of poems about him, turns out he has and is following my blog and has read them all which I am very glad of because I know I would never have been able to tell him face to face how much he hurt me. I think he understands now.

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