As the sun set upon this day.

As the sun set upon this day. Reality kicked in. My children tucked peacefully in bed. My home to quiet. I’m so tired yet wide awake. I’d achieved a fear bit today. Not only my home clean, caught up with a neighbour, gardens and lawns all done. I’d gone looking for an outfit suitable for a funeral (epic fail). I’d completed 3 new zen tangles. I’d been on stand by for my friend. I also realised I’d pushed everything away. I wasn’t distracting I was avoiding. So as i try and unwind my mind going into overload. The death of my best friends dad has brought up more things then I thought possible. Unsure how to support someone through grief. Questions about death from my 6 year old. Thoughts of my own father whom I havent spoken to for more the 2 years, questioning if I made the right choice. My own attempts at taking my own life. When my mum nearly died. People I’ve lost contact with and miss. My step son who I saw today. My children. So Much more. I also realised when I got the bad news whom I wanted to reach out to first. My sailor. I’m missing him so very much I wish I could just curl up in his arms and drift into a peaceful sleep. Feeling safe in his arms. My issues feel so minor compared to a death of a parent. Serious illness with a young boy I know of. Death brings so many questions yet somehow puts everything into prospective

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18 thoughts on “As the sun set upon this day.

  1. Experiencing death in different ways always makes us think. It confuses. It shows life in a different perspective and makes us see more than before. It asks questions but also gives answers. Don’t worry… just go with it. You cannot do anything wrong. Just be there for your friend and you will find out a lot about yourself.

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  2. Losing someone close is a phase of life we all must face, even though we just don’t know how to cope. And every loss is different. Don’t try to make the feelings the same because they never can be…in reality or in writing about it.

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  3. Death is never a good thing and it brings us heart breaks. But the question is, does death really bring the heart break or is it just “us” that has that brokeness even before it came across our lives.

    I’ve learned in the past 2 years after my nearly three years old baby girl died and it has taught me more on how I can make it better for the lives of my own and for my children. I am glad that my husband has taught me more on this and supporting me.

    You hold closer those you love; like your children. Be patient and you shall find your own ansers to all of your questions. *HUG*

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  4. I’ve experience far more than my fair share of loss. For me, what got me through were the friends that didn’t insist every conversation be about loss, those who made life as normal as possible under the circumstances. I deal with the loss and we do discuss it but it’s not all consuming. It’s not that I’m avoiding the pain, that can’t be done. There is comfort in knowing the world goes on despite our loss.

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  5. ” Death brings so many questions yet somehow puts everything into prospective”…Hello again, I believe God created “Death” to shock us into the reality of the hope to receive eternal life with God!!!…Thanks for liking my post!

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  6. Sounds like it was a pretty difficult day, and understandably so. Death can be a hard thing for anyone to deal with and most of the time it is a harsh slap in the face to put everything into perspective. Sending positive thoughts your way! πŸ™‚

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  7. I believe the death of anyone is extremely hard and it is when those who are closest to us lose someone that we really begin to think and things confusing and loud in our heads. When I lost my mom almost seven years ago. It was so hard and confusing. It was the saddest time and yet people still look at me with sorrow in their eyes. It is a time when people who really love you will come and those you thought to be friends will stand back unsure of what to do or say. We can never look back and think what if because that can’t be changed. We can only look to future and sit in the present. We know what we can do to make our life the best that it can be. Hugs to you and your friend and thank you for being the kind of friend that is standing next to your friend even if you do not know what to say.

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  8. Reality is only an illusion. With death at your door, it must be reassuring to know your children are tucked peacefully in bed. Nobody cares what you wear to a funeral, I usually try to wear something with pastels and colors instead of dark colors. Funerals can celebrate a life well-lived.

    The important thing is being there for your friend. Let your friend know her father remains in her and survives in all she does and everyone she knows. Death is transition in the the circle of life.

    Death is no reason for fear. You have it right… savor life, be thankful for your children and support your friend.

    Sleep welll. Blessings and hugs. πŸ˜‰

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