Old habits still there

Sudden fear that my sailors going to wake up one day and realise I’m just ordinary. That I’m a women with so many scars and hurts, so insucure. Fear he’s going to walk away. Its not logical its not fair. Its hard and I can’t seem to pull myself from this way of thinking.

38 thoughts on “Old habits still there

  1. I understand your way of thinking! In the end it’s all about trust. Why fearing something that hasn’t happen and is not even in sight. You would only dim the wonderful time you have together.

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  3. how about expressing the way you feel to him…And let him over come this obstacle with you. His approval is what you seek. He will give you that motivation that you need. He will show you that he cares and sees beyond your flaws. Love yourself,all of you, because he loves all of you too.

    Next chapter šŸ™‚
    Peace & Blessings


  4. Keep telling yourself to ignore those nasty thoughts and get back to enjoying the good ones. Hard to do sometimes I know but much happier when you do


  5. if it is a paralyzing fear – not good.
    BUT if it comes from not taking everything for granted – maybe not so bad… We tend to get so used to the good things, that we do not notice them after a while…
    Remind yourself the feeling, the wedding day, all the good things in your life… And have faith šŸ™‚


  6. You know why your sailor won’t walk away from you? As much as love is mysterious in so many ways, in my opinion, people tend to have longer relationships when they had loved themselves first and can differentiate dependence from support. Your uniqueness binds you together and you must remember that he married you out of love to complete his life not to mirror who he is. From your posts, I saw how he recognize your capability and how much he supports you. I think there is something in your past holding you back from that habit.


  7. Have you read anything or seen a TED talk by Brene Brown? She talks about learning the difference between guilt and shame (her own journey as well as being a researcher of such), and ‘foreboding joy’ – big one for me. We tend to automatically tell ourselves that this good thing can’t last, even though so many good things in our lives have, and do. Helped me refocus my mindset. We don’t/can’t earn someone’s love, it is a gift given, and one we’re worthy of. Not worthy because we earned it, worthy because we were designed for it and can therefore accept it freely when offered. šŸ™‚

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  8. I read your blog a lot and i know that you’re nothing like ordinary. You’re amazing, beautiful and creative. Keep smiling, you’re special. x


  9. We’re all both ordinary and extraordinary. Works of art created by our lives.
    Speaking of art: I notice the world with a greater “art mind” after looking at your photography. While I’m out running I’ll see something– a dandelion among fallen cherry blossoms, a green leaf on a tree stump–and frame it in the moment as a sort of photograph, a Kelz shot, and think, “wow, that is so beautiful!” The ordinary is miraculous. Thanks for your perspective.


  10. Tell him and let him convince you otherwise. He’s the only one you’ll believe. Most important, however, is love yourself. You are not loveable if you don’t love yourself first. I, too have struggled with this. God didn’t make any mistakes.


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  12. One of the most difficult and yet wisest things my sister asked me to follow is this – Don’t focus on what the opposite person feels or doesn’t feel. That’s not the reason you’re there. You’re there because of what you feel. Focus only on that.

    Sharing it with you. Hope it helps.


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  14. Unlikely isn’t it? šŸ™‚
    Ask yourself how many times the “carpenter” has woken up by your side? a hundred? several? a thousand times?
    ‘sides, scars are the mark of warriors. So don’t worry.


  15. Like Erika said, live it up and maintain trust in your partner.
    If it makes things any easier, the other half is just as stressful and scary…military life is hard and creating a life together along side that is even harder.
    He’s probably terrified you are going to wake up and decide he just isn’t worth the stress he makes you feel.


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