I won’t be my own worst nightmare

I wrote not long ago of my fear of losing my sailor, fear one day that the balloon would pop and my happy relationship would be no more. I was offered such wonderful advice on here. My sailor has been amazing. Loving supportive, kind, inspiring. He is my imperfect, perfect partner. One I dreamt of having yet never knew was possible. I’m lucky we meet during challenging life changes but because of knowing each others pain and past are able to be vulnerable to each other. To support each other as we face hardships and happiness. I’m realising despite only being together such a short time. I’d marry this man in a heartbeat. Something clicked inside me a few days ago. We had faced some challenges. But we opened up. I lay there thinking I quite simply loved this man. His imperfections challenges, baggage and scars make him to be one of the most inspirational people I’ve meet in my short 30 years. I look at him when he tenderly wraps his arms around me gently kissing me on the forehead and feel like I’m home. I love how he brings out the spontaneous side of me I’d never explored. How he challenges my curiosity. When I’ve faced health issues (and there’s been a lot lately) he makes me feel safe. I’m working on my fears. Because I don’t want my fear failure, loss, rejection to happen. I don’t want to be my own worst nightmare.


31 thoughts on “I won’t be my own worst nightmare

  1. Sometimes out of fear, our subconscious tries to sabotage us. So, what I have done is use tapping and a Hawaiian practice called ho’oponopono to accept myself and break patterns… it works:) If you find old patterns rearing their heads… give these things a try. One of the rounds of tapping I will start with is “even though my subconscious is trying to sabotage me right now, I fully love and accept myself” tap that 3 times and then move onto something more positive. And finish off with ho’oponopono. Just things that work for me that I wish to share;) lots of love to you and your sailor


  2. Terrific! I love hearing when one weathers fear and intimidation from her doubt to choose love. It’s nothing short of a heroic act — for you and the person whose love you are choosing to accept!

    Liked by 1 person

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