Been MIA again

I guess I don’t have sticking power when it comes to my blog right now so I’ll just post as I feel like it. Right now I’m a mix of confused, scared and plain bloody angry with the medical care im receiving and there’s nothing i can do to change it. After being mucked around trying to find out when I’ll get seen. Finally got an answer today.

I’ve received a priority score of URGENT. But get this I won’t be seen for 6-10 damn weeks. The only score above urgent is immediate. They have photographs and the nurse still wouldn’t give me any ideas on what i may be. Just a stock stand see the gp  if things get worse before the specialist can see me.

So it wasn’t in my damn head. There is something to be worried about with an urgent score. And I’m now officially terrified.

Party time

Let’s share the love today is Facebook sharing day, if you have any business/art pages pop in in the comments. Here’s mine

My photography page

Kelzbelzphotography

https://m.facebook.com/kelzbelzphotographynz

And my zentangle page

Zentangle with kelz

https://m.facebook.com/zentanglewithkelz

Spring in my step – Day 15

Im pretty much all over the place at the moment. But I’m grateful for my sailor being able to make me laugh so much despite the anxiety and fear of my health issues. Bonus the hospital received my referral. And the docs have a meeting to discuss priority with all the Patients. So I’m hoping the photos and medical notes will be enough to get me seen soon. I’ll find out today or tomorrow

Spring in my step -Day 14

Thanks everyone. My niece has returned. Still unsure what happen or why, but the fear with police being called and her photo all over social media brought her out of where ever she was. I want to hug her and kick her damn arse for running away. But hey I’m only the aunty right. Anyways grateful she’s safe. And here I am keeping everything crossed for a stress free day.

My photo of the day challenge – Day 13

Can not for the life of me figure out why I’m so drawn to this photograph I took today. Well over exposed but I love it. What do you all think love it or hate it. Would really like your constructive opinion

image

Come on universe I damn well dare ya

To throw one more damn thing my fucken way. Over the last 3 weeks my mums had two big dental ops, scary because she had to go off medication for her chronic asthma. Then my health problems, all while trying to run our home, keeping it clean etc, looking after the kids, trying to be a supportive partner to my darling sailor. This I’m manage to hold it mostly together with the odd sulk and tantrum. Then this afternoon. My niece who’s only a precious 13 years old has officially been listed with police as a missing person. She left Friday and no one has seen her since. There was a text yesterday but nothing since so now been four days. Everyone’s looking. And I’m sure she will be just fine. But my god the worry is all but over whelming. I’m going between wanting to big her then kick her bloodly arse for scarying us. So come on universe hit me with something else. Since I need to keep it together in front of my children I’ll do it here LIFES NOT FAIR STOMPS FEET SO DAMN HARD IN SHEER FRUSTRATION at all the things I can not control. Right as you were tant over

Spring in my step – Day 13

Opps missed a day. Been pretty busy the past few days. Knowing I’d hear nothing about my health over the weekend I decided to really try to put it aside. Ended up attending my cousins engagement party 10 years in the making. And surprisingly enjoyed myself, for some reason now I have a good partner my family suddenly like me. 100+ people were there in a pretty small space AMD I manage to keep my anxiety down. Spent time with my sailor and kids at my mums, followed by a yummy roast pork and family dinner at home. Being more aware of my kids and sailors needs gave me more purpose. Trying the its Monday new week new start. So let’s see how I get on

Spring in my step – Day 12

I’m grateful for all the support on here. Not much to update on the health front. Blood test came back clear which I’m happy about. But have been referred to a specialist which could take months. Feeling like I’m the only one with any concern. For the past month near constant headaches, I’m always tired, my lower legs have rashes which are itcy and really painful. Then there’s this yuck big markings on my back which has gotten bigger. Nurses are making feel its all in my head. I can’t fake markings which clearly shouldn’t be on my body and is starting g to get sore. I’m feeling lost and unsure on how to get any real answers. I’m feeling stupid and unattractive. Looking in the mirror lat night I just cried. My body has never been great, have many scars etc. But now it’s added these disgusting marks and rashes. My health and moods are affecting my relationship, I’m feeling so selfish.

Struggling last night I when against everything and took a night med to help me sleep instead I’ve woken feeling worse. Fingers crossed these feelings ease soon. I’m sick of feeling scared n unsure