I got a call from hospital with a cancelation so went to the akin specialist. I was terrified. Shaking. My sailor came with me for support and to be a second set of ears. Which I’m so grateful for. I walked in the doc toke one look and said thats “Erythema ab igne”. Basically its a ugly huge skin thing which looks like bruising lace. Cause from use of heat pack for my back pain. So I’m not sick (back to the drawing board with other symptoms). I’m grateful to be well. However its a lot to process. This never goes away and possibly will get bigger or worse. Basically a shitload of burst blood vessels. I’m in three minds. 1 I feel stupid cause i caused it. 2 I’m grateful its not a illness. 3 I’m trying to process the fact that on top of my selfharm scars, stretch marks and scars covering me I now have this to accept.
My sailor keeps telling me I’m still beautiful but I’ve never felt this disgusted with my body.
Time to try radical acceptance
Thanks to every like and comment of support and apologize for not replying. Its been an over whelming time.