So frustrated at myself right now. While I’m beyond happy with a lot of things, engaged to my soul mate, saving to buy land and build a tiny house. Kids over all doing really good. Aside from not being able to walk damn that personal trainer at the gym lol.
Yet alots happened lately to overwhelm me and it came to a head today. Things need to be said but not in the way I did. I was angry followed by tears. My fiancé was great and understanding which I needed but I felt bad.
I’m angry at myself and at a few people. My father made contact wanting us to go a family function. I stressed for a week turning the offer down but offering an alternative. I’ve twice in five years. Now I’m feeling guilt.
Then my ex friend turned up saying my ex step son was missing. So I help, him n my neighbours kids had taken off. They turned up outside my house. Long story short my fiancé keeped them there. Then step son made accusations against him to the police. Ex partner threaten him. I was bailed up at the school as was my son. All because my ex was hassling me a few months ago and was told to stay away or police would be involved.
Plus more. But because of my feelings went ocd on cleaning etc. And have found myself mentally and physically drained. Of course me being me over thinks and takes everything personally. Little things upset me. When I realise I’m over reacting etc it turns to guilt. My most treasured people pay the price.
Why can’t I just be happy. And not let others drag me down.