Missing him

My fiancé is away for work again. While I’m grateful we got to spend new years eve and wake up together new years day. I’m sad that hes gone. To be honest things had been really strained between us for a while and we were pulling ourselves out of the funk. Then he has to leave for a week. I’m finding him going more and more challenging. We’ve talked about it. I know why he’s going and respect his work and time out. Its proberly  a good thing, teaches us not to take each other for granted, space for ourselves and never hurts to miss someone. But doesn’t make it easier. I’m excited for the year ahead. For us. Our family. Our plans. Maybe I’m being stupid. But I feel so lost today. Just want to hear his voice. Hold each other. I wanted to go with him for a few days but as yet hasn’t happened. I don’t want to resent the situation but I wish he wasn’t going a way for work. I’ve got so many hobbies yet I can’t seem to focus on anything. I want to be home, I want to be out, I want to be alone, I want to be surrounded by people. Stupid work, stupid mind, arghhhhh this just plain sucks

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