My fiancé is away for work again today. I always struggle when he’s gone. This weekend is a little different tho. I’ve been feeling so mixed up since he left this morning. For anger, frustration, happiness, excitement, fear. I’ve been trying to work out why. The it dawned on me. This weekend all and I mean all his out of town friends are coming to our town. And I’m meeting them all. Its all abit overwhelming.
I’ve meet a few of his friends (his family lives in another country). But its the first time the opportunity has arisen for me to meet everyone. To see why he does for work.
Even though I know his job and the people he’s around, we’ve had phone n online conversations. Its in a way like “home” n work to separate things. Now its all coming g together. I won’t lie I’m terrified to meet them. Not only my social anxiety. But wanting to make a good impression. To get on with the people who mean so much to my fiancé.
Then it dawned on me. In four and a half months (yes I’m counting down the days) I’ll have a husband. We will be married. I want this, I love him and can’t wait to be his wife. I’m just suddenly scared. Def not cold feet. I guess its more. Holy shit I said I’d never get married. Now I’ve meet the man of my dreams and he my amazing man wants me, asked me and is marrying me.
Oh my god. I must sound childish. With my swirls of crazy emotions!