One step forward 10 back

A few days had a frank honest talk with hubby. Whilst a small step huge at the same time. He was able to express things a little clearer. Told me he wants to stay, loves me. I actually agreed with him on ideas to sort the issues. I explained why and what I said to mental health. That I felt I’d betrayed him by going behind his back to seek help. He understood. I told him I won’t give up. That I was scared he’d leave. Wouldn’t come back from work he told me not to worry he would come back. Then went back to ignoring me. So yesterday I got upset, tried to explain I miss him, love him and support him. Bit I to need support etc. Went down hill rapidly. He accused me of been to focused on spending money (I’m focus on payi g the bills) that I’ve not been upset just angry. That I don’t support him. And a host of other things. Fast forward to this morning before we left to take him to the bus for work. In tears I asked him if he was going to come home. He looked at me and said of course I love you and will be back. Then said but you were the one who told me to fuck off and leave two days ago. I never did this. I asked him to make a decision to weather he was going to leave coz it was tearing me apart not knowing. I told him repeatedly I love him and don’t want him to leave. So knowing my fears and pain I hoped I’d heard from him. But at 9 pm still haven’t, I dropped him off at 8am. Through the day I kept telling myself it’s ok he’s away for work, he’s busy he’ll text when he’s for a few moments. Instead he’s been on and off Facebook for the past few hours. But not a message, or a call. I’m already scares he won’t return, missing him like crazy, my mind playing tricks. Feeling like a useless wife, heck not even married 3 months and my marriage is in crisis. So where I thought there was a positive step forward it was replaced by 10 negative back.

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3 thoughts on “One step forward 10 back

  1. Hope things get better. I wonder if going to some kind of counseling together would help. Some friends of mine, a married couple, see the same therapist, and it seems to be working for them, though it’s always a work in progress.

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