So much support

Yet I’m numb n in shock. My husband well I don’t know guess he’s my ex husband my beautiful talented loving sailor gone. I woke at 6am rolled over and I realise its not a dream. We’ve had no contact since 10am yesterday. I don’t know where he is, if he had a roof over his head last night. I’m trying to give him space but I’m so desperate to contact him. To me marriage isn’t a disposable thing to be thrown away. I know my sailor. He has mental health issues and he’s not been getting the help he needs. We’ve had challenges in our marriage. We’ve faced things n it brought us together. The last month on top of both children sick, our girl (well his stepkids, my kids) broke her foot. We’ve had financial pressures on top of emotional pressures. We’ve been harassed by 2 lots of neighbours including 3 cars damaged, gardens n fences damaged, constant abuse by the kids threats to kill. We did the right thing police, mental health, housing managers n nothing stopped it. We’ve both had little sleep since it started. Hes had huge disappointment with other thibgs to. I knew my hubby was going down hill I tried to help him, us. Something triggered him. I’m not making excuses for him leaving because I’m so desperately hurting. But I understand his mental health and it guts me. I truly want to work on us. Love on its own isn’t enough but love n work is. Nothing that happen is bad enough to end things. I want him to have space to breathe. But given the recent mental dispair he’s had I’m scared I’ll get that phone call or knock on the door from the police saying he’s acted on his thought n he is gone. At the end of the day I want to hear his voice, tell him its all going to be ok. To keep putting one foot in front of the other n keep our home, his massive gardens going, support my kids. The sad part is people have rallied around me and my kids but he’s literary on his own. My family n friends who he’s close to all want to reach out to him to make sure he’s ok. 

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15 thoughts on “So much support

  1. Oh wow! I wish you and him all the best to be able to reach to each other I hope he is safe somewhere and that will be back home soon. Sending you love and light, maybe he just needed to be alone for a little since there his so much going on! Does he has any family or friends where he can possibly be? Did you reported him as missing person since he has mental health issues?
    Hope all is well my dear stay strong and do all is needed to find him!

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  2. Give this a little time; it just happened. Let him cool off and calm down if he can. You have many people who care about you; vent, cry, and talk, but know that some things take time and are out of your control. My thoughts are with you.

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  3. So sorry to hear this , My Marriage broke up after 5 years but at least we are talking to one another. I really feel for you and all this harassment from Neighbours the world is terribly unfair , I wish you all the best really understand about Mental Heath issues , My daughter Hazel is detained in a Mental health facility and she has autism. I wish you all the best and hope you hear from him soon All my love Laurence x

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  4. Sorry I haven’t communicated in a while. I am so saddened to hear about all going on, and your sailor leaving. Prayers for him to be okay, for you to not get too stressed out, and the children to act good. You all deserve to be happy.Thinking about you in these hard times. My hubby and I have split up 6 times in our marriage, and we always ended up back to eachother, soulmates. We have lived in this same house with our son for 13 years now. The longest we have been together actually in our 34 years of marriage. Hang in there darling. You have soooo much talent, and I hope you are continuing with photography. I always love your photos. Lotsa luvins your way, Ruth XXXXOOOO

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  5. You have never heard from me before but we share this problem – holding a marriage together – and I am a vetter, a confessor, an unloader. Maybe I can help. There is always that chance.

    First, you need background. Without it you will be lost. Carol was my second wive and I was her third hubby. I was 58 and she was 53. We had known each other for only six months. Match.com brought us together — you can see where this is heading.

    Our marriage almost broke up on our honeymoon! Ha! Ha! I was due to be executed an hour after the reception. The guards waited for me to emerge from the reception hall and carted me straight to the death house — that didn’t happen. I’m just “kidding”. But that might be the truth beneath the facts – the subtext.

    After the reception we went to a beautiful downtown hotel. Ww engaged in several little spats there, nasty ones, then on the plane to Maui, then in Maui for about half our time there. The lush vegetation and heavy air eventually subdued my neurotic outbreak.

    Upon our return, she offered me $10,000 to go away. Was I that bad? Apparently. I got me-self to a shrink where she prescribed tougher anti-depressants, then to the psychologist to review my psyche.

    You know how we all carry around an assortment of personae inside our little brains. The best way I can describe mine is to admit many are assholes. Flaming assholes like blast furnaces. I have a large tribe of assholes searing the inside of my skull. However, with the help of medication and deft psychological work, I have to learned to silence enough of those little brown creatures to the point where I am now much easier to live with. I’m not in any way, shape, or form calling your husband a pejorative term, but maybe there are nasty munchkins saying horrible things about himself that he needs to silence. The help is out there, one needs to bring one’s own motivation to the process eventually, but I can say for myself and others I know – it works if you work it. Best of luck to you!

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