At this moment I’m feeling a little more at peace. Earlier today I spoke to my Hubby’s best friend. He’d reached out to my sailor n the nurse said he didn’t want to talk to him or see him or anybody. His friend said that cool I’ll keep trying n the moment he’s ready we’re all here. This sounds horrible bit I was grateful he turned him away to cause that means its not just me. I’ll call his friend jack n his wife Betty to make it easier. Jack told me when those pesky horrible thoughts enter my head and tell me its my fault I’m to tell them to fuck off. Again he and Betty offered there support to me to. And I trust them n and truly grateful to them. He’s going to reassure my hubby if he talks to him on exactly how I feel.
After that call I rung my mum n we sorted what was happening with Hubby’s gift so we got it sorted and sent to him through hospitals. We’ve been told he’ll receive it today or at the latest tomorrow. MY baby was so happy she could send him a little note.
I followed up with a text to my hubby telling him I’ll respect his decision. But he’s to know how proud I am that he’s sort help. That I’m not going anywhere that he’s worth it and I’m not giving up or abandoning him.
I got my home sorted out. Sat with my kids and explain that while the rules had go abit on the side that its business as usual no more breaking rules and getting away with it. I booked an appointment with my doctor for next week as a precaution. To accept meds if I need them and to set up councilling. Here I’ve just been told we can get 3 free and more if need.
Now I’m sitting here actually breathing. Realising my husband is in the safest place and getting help. He’s got 24/7 support. And I have to trust in our love and marriage. I want to keep our home running as smooth as possible, give the kids a great Christmas and keep myself mentally well. So that I’m ready to fight for my man, fight for my marriage. To be ready to deal with what’s coming. I’m a fucking warrior n straighting my crown