Confused with what’s right or wrong

This morning I decided to go see my hubby at the hospital. Driving over I knew he wouldn’t see me but I had to try. And he didn’t see me. Bit at least I know he’s still safe. Went to my aunty n uncles. They were brilliant so supportive of both of us. anyways I’ve decided to delete his number,and my mum will give it back to me on Friday, just so I can’t be tempted to ring and call him. I need to give him space and I don’t any other way of doing it. I have a doctors appointment on Friday to sort some kind of therapy for myself to get through this. N the same day I’m going to sort my financial situation. I’ve pushed the hospital to send a med cert to keep his money coming in for himself and realised I can’t do anything more so I have try not to worry about it. To get support I have to tell them we’ve separated. It kills me because I know he’ll see it as a kick in the guts when I’m only doing it because I have to take care of the home and kids and moneys run out.I know I have to prepare myself that either he’s not coming home for a long time or maybe at all. I feel like I’m abandoning him. The thought of even a few days not contacting him breaks me. I’m not done with him or our marriage in fact the opposite. I feel like he’ll think I’ve given up on him when I’m not I’m trying to give him space to get well still being just a text away. How does something that have to be done feel so wrong


4 thoughts on “Confused with what’s right or wrong

  1. What you are doing are all good things & good for YOU. You don’t know that he’ll think it’s a “kick in the guts” … you don’t know what he’ll think. He might think that you’re doing what’s best for you & be happy for you. The main thing is to focus on you. I’m so glad you contacted someone to talk to & work on your own recovery.

    Everything is temporary. This whole thing is temporary. Your husband is in the hospital, fighting for his life. You are at home, taking care of the kids & fighting your own battles. This is all good. Don’t despair. I have been where you are at & I know it seems like it is the end of everything but it is actually the beginning of something else.

    Hang in there. Remember you have a whole world of supporters who are praying for you & pulling for you psychically. & it WILL get better. Believe me.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you 🙂 my uncle said the same thing that my husband is fighting for his life. Even though I’m hurting I’m beyond proud of him. Battling your own demons is one of the most challenging things in the world and the fact he reached out and got help means my hubby didn’t lose his life and I’m not having to bury my best friend. I am grateful for so much

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I thought the same which I read in the comments. When you don’t know anything then don’t expect what brings you down! I think the most important thing right now is that he sees how strong you are for all of you. That is what might give him the biggest support to focus on his own healing and not making him feeling guilty even more. It is a lot that is asked from you… a lot… but you are doing the right thing!


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