3:55am

Between coughing fits and randomly bursting into tears I’m so exhausted. My neck hurts n wheat packs not helping. I’ve had pain relief not helping. I’m so restless n can’t settle. My stomach n ribs hurt from the coughing n vomiting. Why the fuck is my husband not with me when I need him. Do you know what its like to be so hopeful someone’s coming home n they don’t. Where you desperate for answers they aren’t coming. You don’t kbow weather to pack up there stuff so its not seen and not a trigger. Where everyone keeps reminding you how sick he’s sick and you need fucken patience when all you’ve had is patience. When you’ve bent over backwards to be fair. People say your doing so well I would’ve fallen apart by now. Well I am fucken falling apart I am I’m not coping, I feel weak not strong. Trying to cry silently so you don’t wake your worried children. Shaking from the pain of what become of you life. 

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