A month today

Since hubby left and ended up in respite then the mental health unit of the hospital. A whole month and was told he’s still extremely low and flat with minimal progress. Jesus I’m so tired. Just tired and miss him

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6 thoughts on “A month today

  1. Sorry to hear this. I am not sure if you have been through his episodes before, or if its the only one or you have many years of him being down, and I do not know your whole situation, so will not surmise. I would like to offer these words in the hope it may help you, as the wife who also suffers. In any neurological disease it is not just the person afflicted that hurts, it hurts those around them too, even though it is unintentional and not the fault of the person ill. I get that it must be exhausting for you, I can imagine your frustrated as any one would be. Please, though find some comfort in this though, depression is not a quick illness and neither the illness or the treatments heal immediately. Also, the depressed person will think they are always going to be that way and nothing is going to get better, which in turn can make the care giver and/or spouse down too. Its important that you take this time as its as much a respite for you as it is for him. Please do not dispair. It has only been one month. Medications can take 3 months, adjustments could be made, holistically you both will need to navigate diet, lifestyle changes, lowering stress for both your healths. So, try to not worry if he is not showing signs of progress. All he needs from you is your reassurance and love that everything will be alright in the end as there are many many people who suffer from depression and if they all hold on, then there is always a light at the end of the tunnel here on this planet. Have faith and look after you too. He and you both need that xx

    With warmth and wishes
    πŸ‡πŸ‡Up and Down the Rabbit Hole πŸ‡πŸ‡
    For the Ups and Downs of Lifex
    πŸ‡πŸ‡Stay Strong, Look Forward x πŸ‡πŸ‡
    https://goo.gl/cuoUh3
    #updowntherabbithole #upsanddownsoflife #rabbit #bunny #positivitiy #hope #neurological #diseases #anxiety #depression #ptsd #bipolar #ocd #fibromalygia #autoimmune #me #cfs #adrenalfatigue and many more…..
    #staystrong #lookforward

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    • Thanks. Ive seen him have small episodes we meet in therapy 4 years ago. This is the first big episode. By my understanding its the worst he’s suffered. I’m trying to keep me well, focus on the kids. But its been a whole month of him not contacting at all. And we just realised no one who knows him personally has seen or spoken to him in that time either he’s blocked anyone getting info and he’s refusing contact. I don’t know what to do

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  2. Hi, It is not unusual for someone with depression to cut off all contact, I do know someone close by who did. I was in another country and knew this person was alone, totally, so that was a big worry, however, I did contact someone who lived nearby and fortunately got them to persist with face to face contact, which ultimately I feel improved things. Every individual is different and although it hurts, please see this as the illness and not the man you fell in love with. He is clearly not up for any contact right now, which is a shame, but if you are able, as his wife, I would hope you have been allowed to have some interaction with the hospital to check he is there and okay. I am sure he is suffering, but has decided to deal with it the best way he feels is right. Remember he is not in a good place, but he is not alone, he is in a space where he can be safe and will get better, at whichever rate he can. It may feel really hard to accept he has pulled down the hatches, but whatever you do do not let this reflect badly on him as a person and remember he is in an episode. You have to ultimately put you first though and although your loved one is poorly, I am sure that is what he would want you to do too whilst he is away. You have children and a family and its important for all of you to take care of all your health and wellbeing. So please do not worry, do not tire yourself any more than you already have. Be good to yourself and time is a big healer. Episodes can be any length of time. As you know, previously he has had short ones, but they can sometimes throw us a curve ball and send a long one our way. Ask yourself this. Would you be there for him if he was better in three months ? Of course you would. You just need to try to cope as best you can in the interim. If you have loving family/friends then reach out to them. Never feel like a burden, which is what your husband may be feeling right now, and as you know, he would never be a burden, in fact, you would feel better that he needed you. Perhaps you could even explain this in a series of heartfelt cards to which the hospital could give to him whilst he is going through this time. Please remember this, put you first foremostly. He would want that I am sure most of all for all of you.

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