I think people miss understand me 

1- I know its not my fault hubby left. I know he’s sick. I know I can’t fix him. I know its up to him.

2- I’m putting me and my kids first. I’m still being a good mum. Despite my writing I’ve not been curled up in bed for the past month. I’ve kept on keeping on. 

3- I’m not pushing help away I’m seeking it out and been let down again from the system. I’m attending meetings, using skills from therapy etc. Yes I’m angry with mental health for everything they have stiff up with both myself and my husband. And I have that right. So much more has happened then what I’ve written.

4- I’m not leaving my husband. Weather I’m being a complete fool or not. I believe marriage isn’t disposable like many think. I’m a believer in our vows.

5- there’s days where I smile and laugh. Like there’s days where I’m angry. Days where I’m broken and sad. I’m feeling what I’m going through.

6- I’m also in shock with everything that happening and there’s more then the situation with sailor. He is not to blame for everything that’s happened and I’m sick of people blaming him

7- I miss my husband plain and simple. And I’m trying to navigate situations many won’t ever experience in their life time. So instead of judging me try seeing everything I am doing to sort my life out. Respect I’m doing the best for my kids. And save ya bullshit on being nasty about my husband

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