Waiting, waiting and more waiting

Yes I’m still do what I have to, taking care of home and the kids. Organising my daughters birthday which is in less then a week. But I’m still waiting. Waiting on everybody to get back to me. I knew the plan was for sailor to be back in our area yesterday. I know it changes his boss can be a prick like that. But be there of the text I sent Sunday night I thought perfect chance for him to pick up his truck. The buses he catches back from work have the chance to stop near our house. But it wasn’t. No one knows if he’s reading messages, if he’s back from work, where he’s staying. My anxiety was so high yesterday being prepared if he did show. Now its up again. I’m waiting on it getting picked up. For the family support lady or advocates to call n see if they can set up a face to face. Waiting to hear if my therapist did contact him and if he responded. Waiting to see if my key worker actually turns up today. To be honest I’m sick of waiting. Its so hard. And you know something I just want him to let me be his wife. I don’t understand why he won’t let me just love and support him. We were good at time s freaking amazing. Despite the bad times I still just want to be there. 

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