Everything feels surreal 

Like I’m walking through a dream, functioning, talking, yet numb to the world. I’m so exhausted and have not motivation. Yet I’m wanting to get up and move. I want to be happy again. But when I laugh or smile I feel guilty and ashamed. I have so much negatively surrounding me yet no control to minimise it. I feel crazy because I haven’t gone insane. I want to be out of the house yet when I leave I head straight home. I want to be around people but when I am I want to be alone. I use to get a day here and there of this now its everyday. 

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3 thoughts on “Everything feels surreal 

  1. I’ve read up on all your blogs. It sounds like they caught your Mom early which is very good. I’m proud of you for sending him that message. I’m proud of you for re homing those chickens. I’m proud of you for being honest with your son. I’m proud of your honesty. I’m proud of your acknowledgement of your own mistakes and your willingness to recognize and correct them. I’m proud of you for continuing to be a chef. I’m proud of you for being respectful of his property. I’m proud of you for being better than most people. I’m proud of you for being such a big person. I’m proud of you for being you. And I wish I was near. I wish I could come over and help you chop down your jungle of a backyard. But I can’t. My heart is with you, though.

    Liked by 1 person

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