What will today bring

Yesterday got more challenging I’ll stick to talking about school and update the rest later. I’m due to have my information evening tonight and start my chef training on Monday. Given the recent situations I’m concerned about being about to attend some classes which are to 10pm twice a week. I have a 14 year old and 8 year old. People have said have him babysit. But he’ll be already helping with my 6pm finishes. When hubby left I’d planned for mum to help with kids well now she’s unable. Which I fully get. I have 7:30am starts n 8am starts. The first 7 weeks are doable with the hours. I rung my course coordinator. She was great last year knows I’m a good student, 100% attendance and got top student. She also hired me to work there. I was hoping there would be some wiggle room. But there’s not I have to attend 80%, work the nights and if I pull out early I’ll get a mark against my name for future study and funding. She understands my situation and wanted to help but can’t. Its just add a whole new level of pressure. Im gutted I want this so much and now I may just be up shit street without a paddle. Me and hubby discussed all the issues over quite a few months ironing out the kinks. He knew I was scared and nervous. I’ve been a fulltime mum always there for my kids. Now I have to attempt to find the money for sitters on top of everything else. Again why couldn’t something go right. And on top I had a bad dream last night had my hubby and kids in it my car got stolen. I woke panicked wanting him. So freaked out I went to the car and got his wedding ring out I’ve been carrying to give back to him. I can’t help but need him

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2 thoughts on “What will today bring

  1. Thinking about you for your chef training. Praying for your Mom to get better. I know you miss your Sailor. You’re nightmare I’m thinking seemed real. Training and your kids can help keep your mind busy. Love, Ruth.

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  2. You are in my heart, even though we have never met. You are an amazing woman, not only for traversing this journey but sharing with others. It might be because it helps you sort it out, but it helps others understand they are not alone. Just like you are not alone in your struggles tho I’m sure it often feels that way. The added responsibility, even with loads of love, of 2 young children just adds to the pressure. You are amazing, truly amazing. You are strong – but like anyone who is in such a storm, you need your support network – and as often happens – life gets in the way and causes more adjustments. Stop right this second and take a breath. Just stop everything and take a breath. And look at what you are doing – the fantastic amazing fact that you are DOING what you are doing. In the most incredibly difficult circumstances. You might not feel like it right now, but you are a hero! You are a hero to your family, and if to no one else… to me. Each post amazes me and gives me hope. Everything happens for a reason, even the stuff we’d rather not. I know it probably feels like you are in the deepest hole, yet your light shines brilliantly everyday. And if you let it, it will show you and yours the way. Even if that path isn’t clear to anyone yet.
    You can do this, all of it. One little step at a time. Think inside, outside and beside the box. Get rid of the box. he solutions will come… they are all there. Just waiting to become obvious to you. Be open. Be well and safe travels.

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