Three big hurdles in a week

On the 10th its the date of the 2nd time sailor proposed to me, first time in front of my kids and mum and the second just him and I outta the blue on bended knee proposed with the most stunning ring he had made as a one of a kind.

On the 12th our 2nd anniversary. Ones of my most treasured days. On our first he told the kids its wasn’t just our anniversary it was the anniversary of the day we became a family.

On the 14th his birthday and valentines day. Last year I made him a. Garden cake. He’d not had one made for years. I loved just spoiling him. Loving him.

I’m dreading the days because theyre not about presents they’re about him, us our family. I’m being real I know I won’t see or hear from him. But I am desperately hanging on to hope and a bloody big miracle. I think everything’s hitting at the moment. How much I miss him. How much I wish we still had the little things. It sounds silly but everything one thing pops into my mind. We always cuddled at night. Then I’d have to roll on my tummy cause of my back pain. He’d stay cuddled up to me and he’d move his close to mine where I’d rest mine on his. It was a perfect fit. I can’t describe how much I miss that. God I truly love this man so much and the pain is overwhelming. I wish I could find a way to move forward but I keep getting stuck on all the small but amazing things w had and shared. I just want to see him for a moment.  


One thought on “Three big hurdles in a week

  1. Whereas it is hard, that is what you should remember about the time you and him shared. You won’t forget those things but it does become easier. Just remember them and then try to store them away. It’s part of letting go. Just take sometime for yourself…cry, scream, throw things….whatever makes it easier…and then move to the point in you life. Sending good vibes and hopes to you my friend.


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