I’m super happy right this moment

As everyone knows what’s happening with my hubby and the fact today’s his birthday. I’d text him just so he knew I was here. I finished a long but good day from school heading home turned the stereo up to as loud as it would go. I checked the time and saw a text. In disbelief I put it down. Then picked it up again. It was there still. A text from my husband. After more then 8 weeks he had responded to me. A simple thank you beautiful lady. I burst into tears. Then I was getting ready for bed and my mum rung. She asked if I had a good day when Isaid I did, she asked if I wanted some more good news. Excited I said hell yes. She told me she texted mh hubby today and he replied to her to!!! A simple thank you ba. Everyone calls her ba its her nickname. 

I get it sounds so simple, not a big deal. But to me he made two baby steps today that to me a huge. He responded not once but twice. We didn’t expect him to at all. I’m proud he reached out. I had hope from seeing him and its validated me in the fact that there’s still hope. To do the opposite of what he has been is massive in my eyes and I’m proud of him for that. We have a long way to go, but we’ve started the journey back to each other. With support we’ll make it. We’ll come out stronger and better then before. 

I was running on the petrol light I needed emotional fuel. I’m on the 1/4 line now. One thing I loved about my husband is I felt protected and safe in a way I’d never experienced before. When I saw him the other night and he pulled me to him for a hug, I felt overwhelmed by my emotions. I started shaking really badly I held on to him with everything then I realised he was literary holding me up. Hi arms tightly keeping me from falling. I felt safe I felt protected. I felt despite the clear hell he’s living he found the strength for me in that moment. My husband was still there he gave me what I needed and I needed for him to be strong for me. 

I’m in this with my guard up and eyes wide open. I’m protecting myself. I’m under no illusion that we have a battle on our hands. There’s a lot to work through. But having these things happen along side my kids supporting their mama and me starting school. I’ve found a new strength to keep going. I’m proud that I’ve found out how strong I really am. How far I’ve come. How I can be me and be married I’ve fought for myself and I’m proud of me. How I can have my world ripped apart but still with each step work through it. 


12 thoughts on “I’m super happy right this moment

  1. I am so glad life is getting better for you with your sailor. Prayers for all of you. I am going to my counseling tomorrow. It’s been a while. Didn’t take meds before, but realize need if I want to get better for me and my peeps around me. Happy late birthday for your guy. Nice, on Valentine’s Day. Lotsa loveXO


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