Today is

Valentines day but most importantly my husbands birthday a young 49. I wanted to be the first to wish him a happy birthday so just text him just after midnight. I need him to know I’m thinking of him and love him. I’m prepared for him not to respond. Its ok. But it does sting a little. Its baby steps. He still doesn’t know and won’t until he comes home about the cards in the truck. I’m a cake decorator and am feeling lost not planning and making him a cake. Last year I made him a garden cake with mini fondant veggies. I was so proud of that cake and he loved it. I love spoiling people on there birthdays, making there favourite foods and giving them gifts. Its so different. My hubby doesn’t like his birthdays, so I toned it down last year but tried to make it special. Valentines day for me isn’t the same since its his day. But I love to acknowledge it and spend time with him. I’m so grateful I’ve seen him when I did though. But I just want more then anything is to be by his side, no words just holding each other and just being. I hope my darling sailor tries to have a good day and knows we love him so much

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