I have developed a nasty sleep pattern where I’ll fall asleep for QN hour then be wide awake for many more. Functioning on less then 4 wish hours a night. I’m trying to break this habit but it’s a challenge. Tonight I had a mixed dream wasn’t bad not good. It was about my hubby I think everything hit me in this dream and now I’m awake.
I was in class today n we finished early so headed home n text hubby, he was ok n had just got back from a walk, progress. So I quickly rung my mum to organise her to watch the kids and rung him to see if he wanted to see me. Headed straight over was happy to see me. We had an emotion filled catch up.
But most importantly I told him about the lump. About the tests, and he’ll go with me to. I had tears, I’d managed since the first day not to cry about it all. But just being with him, saying it out loud, admitting to him I’m terrified. He was the one who said it can be genetic. I told him that’s how the lump was found but I wanted to be tested for the gene n because of the vein the did the exam. His friend had experienced it when her mum was diagnosed. They’re both fine now. But it I guess kicked started everything for them. I’m pleased I found the way to tell him. Also told him I felt I’d been lying to him, he said I hadn’t.
I’m just relieved. I need him to know and it went well better then I expected and to know he’d go with me to the tests gave me a comfort I needed. Just to lay in the sun and talk boosted me right up.