Wish someone

Had taken my son under their wing. 14 going on 15 soon. I meet his father at 17. I’d not long had a parnter died from a drug overdose. Life was challenging. His father left when I was 6 months pregnant. After cheating on me, throwing me across the room. Life was hard I had my beautiful boy and man my life changed. 18 years, a single mama to an amazing child. The last time his father saw him was 18 months old nothing since. Over the years it was just him and I. His sister come along when he was 6. 

For years people would come into this child’s life and he’d grow attached. Then they’d be gone. He develop trust issues. Preferring not to get close to people. Easier that way. 

My hubby and son have gotten along, but they’re so similar. They both escape into different electronics. My son his gaming and YouTube. My hubby YouTube and movies. Things went downhill for them I feel last year. When hubby left my son broke. Scared still he let hubby back in. I felt they gain a new kind of bond. Laughter, weirdness. They’ve never talked much. But my son looks up to him. Speaks of him highly. Loves him like a dad. Hubby to has been the same.

Lately they’ve been challenged again. Both dig their toes in. My hubby frustrated by small things he does. Alot is teenage stuff. But specially the gaming. And sulking when asked to do something. So in turn gets his back up. And retreats.

My boy feels like he’s in trouble for small things. Many things hubby himself does. 

I can see both sides. Six of one half a dozen of the other. My boy is scared he’ll up in leave like everyone else so goes into himself. My hubby has talked of wanting him to become a great man able to fend for himself in life. I want the same. But we do have different ways of wanting to get to the same goal. I’ve tried to talk to both hubby n my son bout it this week. Both got their backs up. I know I get super protecive of my boy. But at the same time I do with hubby.

They have such different Hobby’s and out looks on life. Where hubby loves the outdoors, gardening, building stuff etc. My son loves been safe at home in gaming world. They’ve tried doing things together before. The last thing, hubby wanted to do it all the time and my son began to not enjoy it and they both packed a shit n stopped. It’s hard because it’s all or nothing for them both. My son is more mainstream with goals and my hubby more unconventional.

Being a parent full-time brings different challenges. My hubby has 3 older children all girls. They’re in a different country so he’s had a very different parenting experience to me. I understand he’s not gone through many o the the issues. I just wish he’d lighten up in someways. He’s such a over all good kid. He doesn’t drink, do drugs, smoke or girls. He’s home, he is respectful. He does excellence at school. He in ways is a typical teen regarding chores but still. I know I’ve raised a good boy. 

I wish hubby and son would find a way to share themselve and knowledge with each other. Theyre both so intelligent. They’re kind and loving. They’re humor is so different but they’re so funny. I wish they’d tell each other the things they tell me. 

I feel for my boy once his sister came along alot of people had more in common with her. She’s a social kid people gravitate towards  her. I’ve felt for years my son has missed out. Maybe it’s their ages. It’s not just with hubby but with many. She’s easy to do thibgs with. My boy zause of experience has isolated away from people.

I just wish someone aside from me had taken this child which he still is under there wing. I can’t force it. But I’ve cried about it many times. My only son has struggled In His short time and I wish he was more easily understood. I look at my boy wanting better then I had. I want him to believe in people. I hope my hubby and son can make changes and acknowledge what each do on the positive side not just the negatives. In just over 3 years my son’s an adult. I want him to find his place in this world yet have us still with a feirce bond. Wmi want my boy to want to come home he he’s an adult. I wish people would give my son the chance he deserves

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3 thoughts on “Wish someone

  1. I think, this is a struggle, as mothers to son’s have. I have experienced it myself and it seems like, they have a competition about, who has the right to you and to the place, where all of you live.

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  2. aside from the cooperation issues, i think it is a matter of learning to accept personality differences and be okay with them. otherwise, your son will always be feeling like he has to justify his natural inclination to be quiet and not as quickly or continually social. he may be more of an introvert, but that is not a disease–it is a legitimate personality type. and it does not necessarily mean that he does not ever trust people; it just means he will take his time about assessing how many people at one time are in his inner circle and also whom he will let into that inner circle. in regard to the relationship between your hubby and your son, it’s natural for them to be “sizing each other up”–it’s kind of a man thing. don’t allow them to put you in the middle of it. praying for you and your family…

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