When so much of my life is going great, there always seems to be something going wrong

My family is amazing, supportive, loving and incredible. I’m in school training to be a chef. I’m beyond loving it. Doing so well in the practicals. I’ve completed work experience. Nearly completed the presentation for it. I thought I had a handle on the theory until last week when despite studying I massively failed a test. I got a resit and ended up passing. 

Problem I’ve have 2 tests, a major theory exam, 6 hour practical, a 45 page assessment, a small assessment. We have 8 weeks to graduation. 2 weeks are holidays. 

I’m behind in housework. I’m not spending enough time with my kids or hubby. I’m in over my head. I feel stupid and dumb. I just spent an hour going over one assessment, and was lost. My big assessment I don’t know where to begin. The only thing I have confidence in is my practicals. 

Everyone around me is telling me I’ve got this, I can do it, etc. But I don’t feel like I at this stage have any chance of passing the theory or even graduating. I’m looking at getting tutor help. But prob being I can’t until we’re back from holidays and 2 assessments are due the first week back.

Ive tried breaking it down into steps rather then the whole thing at once. But I feel like I’m reading over and over and not retaining the information. I can answer the questions vocally. But putting words on paper ends up muddled. I can read and write well. But it’s not translating. I feel like I’m sinking backwards. 

I just want to be a chef. To be successful. Instead I’m sitting here feeling destined to fail. 

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5 thoughts on “When so much of my life is going great, there always seems to be something going wrong

  1. Don’t be so hard on yourself gurl!!!…
    You do got this… maybe take a break like to the park with the lil ones… that way you are spending time with them and giving you a break too… a win,win … : )
    I would ask to speak with the teacher maybe after class???… tell him/her your concerns …have you tried flash cards???… or even having your lil ones test you???… get them involved…I am sure they would enjoy the time too…
    Again gurl don’t be so hard on yourself… those test are tricky … and we are all here for you…
    I have seen your pictures of the food you made and everything looks amazing gurl…
    I would just try n talk to the teacher and don’t overload yourself with doubt …
    Huggggs
    Suzette

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t be so rough to yourself. As a former teacher, I will advice you to write it, as you would answer the questions. When you end, then you can look at correcting, not before. Then you write even more about each topic, if you feel for that. Good luck 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. As a former professor, I’ve seen this kind of test anxiety a lot. The students who think they could fail even though they know the material usually do well, as long as they stay calm and focused during the actual test. Breathe and be in the moment of learning, rather than in the fear. You’ll be a great chef.

    Like

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