How ever I truly hope it’s my fears not my reality. I guess only time will tell. I’m low I found some hard truths today that just proved again I’m clueless at picking up sign from those im closet to. Oh well time to go do some mindfulness meditation and attempt sleep. And hope like hell I wake tomorrow with a fresh prospective. It hurts being triggered so much from past events that I can’t change or fix. Not can I prevent them from happening again. I have to allow others to find there footing, feel their emotions and process in there own ways. Even though it’s tearing my heart in a million pieces. So so many unanswered questions. Sometimes life just feels that no matter how hard I try to succeed as a wife, a mama , a student and chef that it’ll never be good enough, that as soon as I feel positive the negatives slide in.