Lately my anxiety has been flaring up. I’m starting to feel down. My moods are so flat. I’m unreasonable, and unfair. But I’m trying really hard to pull myself out of it. I’m feeling under so much pressure. I’m not sure how to balance life. I work hard at school I feel like I’m away from family. I’m hanging with family but worry I’m not taking care of them well enough. As expected school’s intense. 20 days to major comps. A 6 course dessert dego a week later. On top of false accusations of being a bully and having to face the woman daily. Mum just had her one year cancer specialist, thankfully still cancer free but scarey. Hard watching mum still emotionally struggling. Then my baby girl. Looks like she starts therapy in the next few weeks, hard emotionally to organise and it’s hit me hard and I see hubby’s struggling. We’re waiting for the hospital to contact hubby about tests for sleep apnea, I worry bout him I can’t help it he’s my darling. Then my boy has his follow up to find out if he has glycoma with his eyes. Then on top of that out of the blue I got call from the hospital saying they want to see me for my follow up on 3 breast cancer scares. I just don’t want to deal with it.
I struggle then I get guilt for not being there properly for my hubby n kids. Then I try pull myself up, n something else hits me. And I feel bad again. I’m over headaches all but daily. I’m over physically every day. I’m tired of being tired.
I’ll pick up I don’t have any other choice. But damn to many bloody elephants