It’s been a long time

But still I suffer from mental health issues. Myself, my husband, my mother, my son and at a time my daughter. I think I was drawn back to to my blog because while I’m not depressed or sliding in the sense of my bpd. I am struggling with the world at the moment. I’m struggling with not being able to fix things, I struggle with the lack of control watching others dear to me going through mental health. I’m struggling with my morals in the job I’m in. And have got extremely frustrated thinking about work. I’m in an industry which is high pressure, stress, and clashes with chef vs front of house. I just want to cook, be a wife, mama, daughter and not feel the pressure to be all for everyone

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6 thoughts on “It’s been a long time

  1. Please take good care of yourself! We can’t fix everything that is wrong with our world. In the words of the Dalai Lama, do all that you can to make it a better place and at the end of the day be comforted by that! Cheers to your vegan baking. Are you a recent „convert“ or have you always been vegan? I am in my 12th year meat free, 9th year vegan! 🌱 💚

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    • I will. Thanks. Your right logically I know but emotionally it super challenging. Thanks. I’m not vegan, I should be gf and df but but can’t afford to be. Wow that’s impressive. I’ve taken the job as a vegan pastry chef and Baker to keep learning and challenging myself with food. And discovered its a lot tastier then I was expecting.

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  2. I worked as a Pastry Chef for 24 years and it was high pressure constantly. I ended up walking away from it at the age of 40 because it was getting the better of me and i was going through a lot of anxiety. I have to say, walking away was the best thing i ever did. I feel like i have a life agaiin. It is a compromise obviously, because i love being creative and finding work that fulfils that need is very difficult however, i have time to write my blog and do a hell of a lot that i couldn’t do when i was constantly working.
    I hope you find peace and a healthy balamce too. Its important to realize you only get this one shot and you have to put what you love first everytime. xxx

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    • Yea I love the creative side of the industry. I’ve cooked for years but in the job its so different. I expected tough, high pressure, etc. And I guess some of this is very norm but my sous keeps throwing me under the bus, to head chef. When reality we all know he’s stuffing up constantly. The disorganisation is driving me nuts. And the sous is so vial to woman in the comments both staff n customers. I guess it’s the small things adding up. But I will push on because I didn’t studying this long for nothing. I’ll find that balance I’m pretty straight up with sticking to my legal 10 minute breaks and hours. They don’t like that I’m challenging them but I won’t burn out for a career. I’ve been told I get more work done In 4 days then my sous does in 6.

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  3. You are not alone. It is easy to get overwhelmed by things you can not control. Its okay to step back and take some time for yourself or you will lose control over things you can manage. Breathe and take one step at a time.

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